such as Sinclair Lewis and F. Scott Fitzgerald?
A. Sympathy for the Protestant fundamentalism
B. Nostalgia for the "good ol days"
C. Commitment to the cause of racial equality
D. Advocacy of cultural isolationism
E. Criticism of the middle-class conformity and materialism
Which of the following best characterizes the writers associated with the literary flowering of the 1920's
E. Criticism of the middle-class conformity and materialism
Reply:Hahahahahaha
%26lt;3 you cath
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Thank you for your sympathy?
My mother in law passed away this week. I am in charge of sending out thank you cards to everyone that brought food and sent flowers. I wanted to write a lil thank you note from the family. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know. Thank you
Thank you for your sympathy?
We all thank you for your warmth and sincerity in this our time of mourning. You have grieved with us and supported us, when we needed you the most. Thank you again,
The Clark Family.
Reply:Thank you for choosing my answer. I pray for you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. May God Bless and Keep You All. Report It
Reply:Just thank them for their kindness and support....I'm sorry for your loss.
Reply:To whom it may concern....
We would like to say Thank you for your support in this very hard time.
With your kind gifts and words, You have made this time so much easier to bare.
From myself and the ? family we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Yours sincerely,
????
Reply:Yes .Send a thank you very much card. We Appreciate all your help ect,ect.
Reply:The best thing to do is have it printed in your local paper on the deaths page, that way you get to thank everyone %26amp; no one gets left out.
Sorry for your loss.
Reply:well we had to go through the same thing when my grandfather passed, I say you write them all a note and have it saying, we the family thankyou for all of your hospitality love and support you have provided for our family in our time of need!...oh and I am so sorry about your mother I pray you and the family stay strong
Reply:ACKNOWLEDGMENTS...
The family should acknowledge the flowers and messages sent by relatives and friends. When food and personal services are donated, these thoughtful acts also should be acknowledged, as should the services of the pallbearers. The funeral director may have available printed acknowledgement cards that can be used by the family. When the sender is well known to the family, a short personal note should be written on the acknowledgment card expressing appreciation for a contribution or personal service received. The note can be short, such as:
"Thank you for the beautiful roses. The arrangement was lovely.
"The food you sent was so enjoyed by our family. Your kindness is deeply appreciated."
In some communities it is a practice to insert a public thank you in the newspaper. The funeral director can assist you with this.
Reply:keep it simple and say something like Thank you for your generosity in our time of sorrow. Your thoughtfulness touched us deeply in our time of need/sorrow.
Reply:thank you for your kind words and prayers in our families time of need your prayers were felt by all who loved our dear departed mother. SO SORRY for your lost I lost my mom 3 years ago and this is exactally what I put in the cards we sent.
Reply:Thankyou for your sympathy in our time of sorrow.
Reply:I'm sorry for your loss. I think a short, heartfelt note thanking them for their thoughtfulness would be great.
Reply:Something simple like...
Our family thanks you for your love and support during our time of pain and loss. We appreciate your kindness and friendship.
Reply:sorry for the loss.
Reply:Since you'll have to write many cards, I would say keep it short. Something like, "Your thoughtfulness is deeply appreciated at this very difficult time for our family." Then, if you know specifically what the person did, like, sent flowers, mention that they were beautiful. Just a mention to show that you know in what way the person was helpful or supportive.
Reply:Our family wish to thank all of you for your tenderness and love you shown us doing our lost. The love you have express have deeply touch and move us in our heart, and including the many prayers you have all gave our family. We ask that you'll continue to keep us in your prayer. Thank you and God Bless.
* I hope this helps, and personally I'm so sorry of the passing of your Mother in law. You are in my prayers.
God Bless
Reply:i know what it is like to have your mother pass on.sorry for your loss.
Reply:"Thank you for you kind thoughts and prayers." I used this when my mom passed away. You can personalize the ones you feel you should.
Thank you for your sympathy?
We all thank you for your warmth and sincerity in this our time of mourning. You have grieved with us and supported us, when we needed you the most. Thank you again,
The Clark Family.
Reply:Thank you for choosing my answer. I pray for you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. May God Bless and Keep You All. Report It
Reply:Just thank them for their kindness and support....I'm sorry for your loss.
Reply:To whom it may concern....
We would like to say Thank you for your support in this very hard time.
With your kind gifts and words, You have made this time so much easier to bare.
From myself and the ? family we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Yours sincerely,
????
Reply:Yes .Send a thank you very much card. We Appreciate all your help ect,ect.
Reply:The best thing to do is have it printed in your local paper on the deaths page, that way you get to thank everyone %26amp; no one gets left out.
Sorry for your loss.
Reply:well we had to go through the same thing when my grandfather passed, I say you write them all a note and have it saying, we the family thankyou for all of your hospitality love and support you have provided for our family in our time of need!...oh and I am so sorry about your mother I pray you and the family stay strong
Reply:ACKNOWLEDGMENTS...
The family should acknowledge the flowers and messages sent by relatives and friends. When food and personal services are donated, these thoughtful acts also should be acknowledged, as should the services of the pallbearers. The funeral director may have available printed acknowledgement cards that can be used by the family. When the sender is well known to the family, a short personal note should be written on the acknowledgment card expressing appreciation for a contribution or personal service received. The note can be short, such as:
"Thank you for the beautiful roses. The arrangement was lovely.
"The food you sent was so enjoyed by our family. Your kindness is deeply appreciated."
In some communities it is a practice to insert a public thank you in the newspaper. The funeral director can assist you with this.
Reply:keep it simple and say something like Thank you for your generosity in our time of sorrow. Your thoughtfulness touched us deeply in our time of need/sorrow.
Reply:thank you for your kind words and prayers in our families time of need your prayers were felt by all who loved our dear departed mother. SO SORRY for your lost I lost my mom 3 years ago and this is exactally what I put in the cards we sent.
Reply:Thankyou for your sympathy in our time of sorrow.
Reply:I'm sorry for your loss. I think a short, heartfelt note thanking them for their thoughtfulness would be great.
Reply:Something simple like...
Our family thanks you for your love and support during our time of pain and loss. We appreciate your kindness and friendship.
Reply:sorry for the loss.
Reply:Since you'll have to write many cards, I would say keep it short. Something like, "Your thoughtfulness is deeply appreciated at this very difficult time for our family." Then, if you know specifically what the person did, like, sent flowers, mention that they were beautiful. Just a mention to show that you know in what way the person was helpful or supportive.
Reply:Our family wish to thank all of you for your tenderness and love you shown us doing our lost. The love you have express have deeply touch and move us in our heart, and including the many prayers you have all gave our family. We ask that you'll continue to keep us in your prayer. Thank you and God Bless.
* I hope this helps, and personally I'm so sorry of the passing of your Mother in law. You are in my prayers.
God Bless
Reply:i know what it is like to have your mother pass on.sorry for your loss.
Reply:"Thank you for you kind thoughts and prayers." I used this when my mom passed away. You can personalize the ones you feel you should.
OCD, How can i tell my mom im serious.?
I've had OCD since i was 9 and im 14 now.
It's starting to get really bad, and annoying. When i told my mom she didn't, still doesn't, think much of it. It's like she thinks i want her sympathy, when really i just want it to stop.
Some rituals are:
Usually when i touch the shift key, i have to touch it again with my opposite hand.
When i put my shoes on they have to touch each side of my foot, before i can put them on.
There is this flower vace in my bathroom beside the toilet next to the sink and in between it there is a little part of the mirror you can see yourself through, if im on the toilet, before i can get up, i have to look at it and smile before i get up. And i have to smile in the whole mirror before i leave.
If i look at something wrong, i have to keep looking back and forth rapidly until it feels right.
My rituals are always in a rythem of:
"I love Jesus yes i do, I love Jesus how about you?"
I have no idea why.
OCD, How can i tell my mom im serious.?
First of all, you have to calm down about it. Getting upset about having problems with it will more than likely make it worse, i know it does mine. Secondly, if you are in school or attend church regularly, go to a counselor and tell them all of this. Let them know that it bothers you and you would like help with it. Then let them know you also want help showing your mother that you are serious, you are having problems, and you want her support and help with it. This way, you can be getting advice and help on what to do and how to handle everything and when you are ready, your mom will see that you are trying to get help and really mean that something is wrong.
Reply:This is definitely a treatable condition, and it is real. Your mom probably wants you to be perfect--most parents do, out of love.
She doesn't want to believe that this condition is affecting the quality of your life.
I vote with the poster who suggested talking to a counselor. You might want to tell your mom that you're going to make an appointment with someone at school to talk about your OCD because they can get you a referral for some help. This way, you're showing that you're taking responsibility for your own life, and that the OCD is disrupting it.
There are some effective medications out there--Prozac especially--that can help you. I have OCD, too, but to a lesser degree. I know how compelled you are to do your rituals, and how afraid you are to stop them because you believe that something bad will happen if you don't keep it up.
Good luck and God bless. You really are very mature for 14.
Reply:Make an appointment with your mom. You need to tell her that you have something to discuss with her and that you would like to find a time when she is not rushed so that you and she can sit down and talk for about an hour. It is important that she gives you her full attention.
Write down all of the things you need to tell her and why you need her to listen and understand. Literally pour out your feelings on paper and then read the paper to her.
I am the mother of 5 children - there is nothing more important to a mom than her children. They are life itself to her. However, mom's are people too. They get busy, they get overwhelmed and they sometimes don't want to hear that their child is hurting in any way.
You need help - now is the time to get this under control. It is not hopeless. OCD is very manageable.
After you tell your mom what is wrong and how you are concerned and why your concerned, tell her that you want her to make you an appointment to see a child psychologist ASAP.
I wish you all the best. You can do this and your mom will help!
Reply:Talk to a teacher or school counselor...maybe they can talk to her and get her attention of this matter.
It's starting to get really bad, and annoying. When i told my mom she didn't, still doesn't, think much of it. It's like she thinks i want her sympathy, when really i just want it to stop.
Some rituals are:
Usually when i touch the shift key, i have to touch it again with my opposite hand.
When i put my shoes on they have to touch each side of my foot, before i can put them on.
There is this flower vace in my bathroom beside the toilet next to the sink and in between it there is a little part of the mirror you can see yourself through, if im on the toilet, before i can get up, i have to look at it and smile before i get up. And i have to smile in the whole mirror before i leave.
If i look at something wrong, i have to keep looking back and forth rapidly until it feels right.
My rituals are always in a rythem of:
"I love Jesus yes i do, I love Jesus how about you?"
I have no idea why.
OCD, How can i tell my mom im serious.?
First of all, you have to calm down about it. Getting upset about having problems with it will more than likely make it worse, i know it does mine. Secondly, if you are in school or attend church regularly, go to a counselor and tell them all of this. Let them know that it bothers you and you would like help with it. Then let them know you also want help showing your mother that you are serious, you are having problems, and you want her support and help with it. This way, you can be getting advice and help on what to do and how to handle everything and when you are ready, your mom will see that you are trying to get help and really mean that something is wrong.
Reply:This is definitely a treatable condition, and it is real. Your mom probably wants you to be perfect--most parents do, out of love.
She doesn't want to believe that this condition is affecting the quality of your life.
I vote with the poster who suggested talking to a counselor. You might want to tell your mom that you're going to make an appointment with someone at school to talk about your OCD because they can get you a referral for some help. This way, you're showing that you're taking responsibility for your own life, and that the OCD is disrupting it.
There are some effective medications out there--Prozac especially--that can help you. I have OCD, too, but to a lesser degree. I know how compelled you are to do your rituals, and how afraid you are to stop them because you believe that something bad will happen if you don't keep it up.
Good luck and God bless. You really are very mature for 14.
Reply:Make an appointment with your mom. You need to tell her that you have something to discuss with her and that you would like to find a time when she is not rushed so that you and she can sit down and talk for about an hour. It is important that she gives you her full attention.
Write down all of the things you need to tell her and why you need her to listen and understand. Literally pour out your feelings on paper and then read the paper to her.
I am the mother of 5 children - there is nothing more important to a mom than her children. They are life itself to her. However, mom's are people too. They get busy, they get overwhelmed and they sometimes don't want to hear that their child is hurting in any way.
You need help - now is the time to get this under control. It is not hopeless. OCD is very manageable.
After you tell your mom what is wrong and how you are concerned and why your concerned, tell her that you want her to make you an appointment to see a child psychologist ASAP.
I wish you all the best. You can do this and your mom will help!
Reply:Talk to a teacher or school counselor...maybe they can talk to her and get her attention of this matter.
Death in a Jehova's Witness Members Family?
My boyfriends co-worker is a Jehova's witness. A family member of hers died. Is it appropriate to send flowers or give her a sympathy card?
Death in a Jehova's Witness Members Family?
Yes.
Incidentally, there are no particular rituals involved in Jehovah's Witness funerals, cremations, or burials. All specifics are decided by the family of the deceased, or the deceased himself by means of will.
Of course, Jehovah's Witness funerals are not as depressed as those with no hope.
...(1 Thessalonians 4:13) Moreover, brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant concerning those who are sleeping in death; that you may not sorrow just as the rest also do who have no hope.
Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/20050501/article...
http://watchtower.org/e/20050101a/articl...
http://watchtower.org/e/20050815/article...
http://watchtower.org/e/rq/index.htm?art...
http://watchtower.org/e/dg/index.htm?art...
http://watchtower.org/e/lmn/index.htm?ar...
http://watchtower.org/e/ti/index.htm?art...
Reply:Sure. When my Dad died, I appreciated all kind gestures. I have a relative who sent me a Christmas card, I explained things to him, but appreciated the loving gesture.
Reply:Absolutely...either is appropriate. The only thing is that we dont believe the cross is a Christian symbol, so flowers in that shape would probably not be a good idea.
When my uncle died, my job sent flowers to the Kingdom Hall at which his memorial service was held.
Reply:There nothing wrong with that, I'm sure it will be greatly appreciated, i know Jehovah's witness. Just mention your condolences and you can send flowers, and on the card don't mention anything religious being that we have different views on death as most people do, we believe in the hope to see our loved ones that have died again. So that would be good to do just sending a card or flowers or even both.
Reply:Yes, is always appropriate to send cards, flowers. Just be considerate of the persons religious beliefs. Best to stay away from the "Christian" themed cards, as the Witnesses beliefs are a bit different. Go with a general sorry for your loss, and add a personal note....also, try thinking of sending a plant instead of flowers.
Reply:With the JWs in my family, we usually send a card and a nice dessert or casserole. When everyone gets together, it's a nice thing for them to have something ready to serve so that the family doesn't feel more stressed.
Reply:Both flowers and food baskets are fine, according to the Jehovah Witnesses' Office of Public Information. However, when sending flowers or a sympathy card, be sure to avoid a religious theme.
nike casual shoes
Death in a Jehova's Witness Members Family?
Yes.
Incidentally, there are no particular rituals involved in Jehovah's Witness funerals, cremations, or burials. All specifics are decided by the family of the deceased, or the deceased himself by means of will.
Of course, Jehovah's Witness funerals are not as depressed as those with no hope.
...(1 Thessalonians 4:13) Moreover, brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant concerning those who are sleeping in death; that you may not sorrow just as the rest also do who have no hope.
Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/20050501/article...
http://watchtower.org/e/20050101a/articl...
http://watchtower.org/e/20050815/article...
http://watchtower.org/e/rq/index.htm?art...
http://watchtower.org/e/dg/index.htm?art...
http://watchtower.org/e/lmn/index.htm?ar...
http://watchtower.org/e/ti/index.htm?art...
Reply:Sure. When my Dad died, I appreciated all kind gestures. I have a relative who sent me a Christmas card, I explained things to him, but appreciated the loving gesture.
Reply:Absolutely...either is appropriate. The only thing is that we dont believe the cross is a Christian symbol, so flowers in that shape would probably not be a good idea.
When my uncle died, my job sent flowers to the Kingdom Hall at which his memorial service was held.
Reply:There nothing wrong with that, I'm sure it will be greatly appreciated, i know Jehovah's witness. Just mention your condolences and you can send flowers, and on the card don't mention anything religious being that we have different views on death as most people do, we believe in the hope to see our loved ones that have died again. So that would be good to do just sending a card or flowers or even both.
Reply:Yes, is always appropriate to send cards, flowers. Just be considerate of the persons religious beliefs. Best to stay away from the "Christian" themed cards, as the Witnesses beliefs are a bit different. Go with a general sorry for your loss, and add a personal note....also, try thinking of sending a plant instead of flowers.
Reply:With the JWs in my family, we usually send a card and a nice dessert or casserole. When everyone gets together, it's a nice thing for them to have something ready to serve so that the family doesn't feel more stressed.
Reply:Both flowers and food baskets are fine, according to the Jehovah Witnesses' Office of Public Information. However, when sending flowers or a sympathy card, be sure to avoid a religious theme.
nike casual shoes
Sympathy Quote?
My co-worker's and good friend mother passed away. Wake is tomorrow, I'd like to send flowers, but have no idea what note to put with them. I've been through this by myself. Words don't help...but I have to write something.
Sympathy Quote?
Below is a list of quotes that might work:
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~From a headstone in Ireland
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran
There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. ~Author Unknown
In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing. ~Robert Ingersoll
The angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hand of God. ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994
Reply:I always just write "Thinking of you in your time of sorrow" or something like that. Or if you're religious, "Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers"
Reply:Condolences.With big pain.
Reply:I'm terribly sorry for your loss...
Like you mentioned, words are pretty much meaningless when someone has died...
Write something from you heart - short and to the point.
That's the best you can do... I know that isn't a great answer, but there really isn't anything else you can do.
Just be there for your friend - that's much more important than the card...
-dh
Reply:Write nothing, just tag it with "With my sympathy, (your name)"
Reply:No Person is Ever Truly Alone
by Richard Fife
No person is ever truly alone.
Those who live no more,
Whom we loved,
Echo still within our thoughts,
Our words, our hearts.
And what they did
And who they were
Becomes a part of all that we are,
Forever.
Reply:Simply say, sorry for your loss. Let me know if there's anything I can do to ease your pain.
Then sign your name.
Reply:You could simply have the florist include a card that says "With deepest sympathy"
or.....
If you choose to write the note personally, you could say , "I am so sorry for your great loss, please know that I am here for you"
Reply:Don't make it too flowery.
Just a simple "I'm sorry for you loss. You are in my prayers." will do nicely. Let's them know you care, but doesn't weight them down will a bunch of babble that they don't want or need right now. They won't remember a long message. It might mean something to you, but it's just not appropriate right now.
If you want to do something else, something more, then wait a couple of weeks and take the friend out for lunch or dinner and let them know then that you are there if they need to talk. Don't push it. They'll be in a better frame of mind to receive your heartfelt sentiments.
Reply:One of the most poignant of all human experiences is empathy-the ability to feel what others feel when suffering from pain or loss. --Louis Jolyon West
Sympathy Quote?
Below is a list of quotes that might work:
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. ~From a headstone in Ireland
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ~Kahlil Gibran
There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. ~Author Unknown
In the night of death, hope sees a star, and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing. ~Robert Ingersoll
The angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hand of God. ~Quoted in The Angels' Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994
Reply:I always just write "Thinking of you in your time of sorrow" or something like that. Or if you're religious, "Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers"
Reply:Condolences.With big pain.
Reply:I'm terribly sorry for your loss...
Like you mentioned, words are pretty much meaningless when someone has died...
Write something from you heart - short and to the point.
That's the best you can do... I know that isn't a great answer, but there really isn't anything else you can do.
Just be there for your friend - that's much more important than the card...
-dh
Reply:Write nothing, just tag it with "With my sympathy, (your name)"
Reply:No Person is Ever Truly Alone
by Richard Fife
No person is ever truly alone.
Those who live no more,
Whom we loved,
Echo still within our thoughts,
Our words, our hearts.
And what they did
And who they were
Becomes a part of all that we are,
Forever.
Reply:Simply say, sorry for your loss. Let me know if there's anything I can do to ease your pain.
Then sign your name.
Reply:You could simply have the florist include a card that says "With deepest sympathy"
or.....
If you choose to write the note personally, you could say , "I am so sorry for your great loss, please know that I am here for you"
Reply:Don't make it too flowery.
Just a simple "I'm sorry for you loss. You are in my prayers." will do nicely. Let's them know you care, but doesn't weight them down will a bunch of babble that they don't want or need right now. They won't remember a long message. It might mean something to you, but it's just not appropriate right now.
If you want to do something else, something more, then wait a couple of weeks and take the friend out for lunch or dinner and let them know then that you are there if they need to talk. Don't push it. They'll be in a better frame of mind to receive your heartfelt sentiments.
Reply:One of the most poignant of all human experiences is empathy-the ability to feel what others feel when suffering from pain or loss. --Louis Jolyon West
$$$ Gifts. . .??? ... Included in a sympathy card???...?
Rather than flowers, or donations to a charity?
Would this be 'proper'? or an insult?
Seems that everyone can use cash, to help pay final expenses. . .
$$$ Gifts. . .??? ... Included in a sympathy card???...?
A gift card would be less blantant than cash. And one to the supermarket is pretty much a cash equivilant - everyone shops there every week.
I suppose you could contact the funeral home directly and ask to make an annonymous donation. I would take that kindly. I was struck and touched that the FH didn't charge us (their policy for the death of young children).
Don't discount the donations to charities, especially if one was selected by the family. I found those to be very meaningful to me.
While this is more of a small town thing, you can still do it in the big city: You can bring over a meal (lasagna, salad, bread) in throwaway containers with enough for leftovers. During grief, it can be a relief to have simple things like that (or mow the lawn, board the dog, etc) taken care of.
Also, strongly consider something like bringing a meal over, having them out to dinner or sending a card that you are thinking of them a few months from now. Everyone is really kind and thoughtful for a week or two and then, reasonably enough, they move on and figure the relatives have too. But months later, they are still impaired and (at a lower level) griefing. But no one acknowledges that anymore and they can be hesitate to ask for help.
Don't worry about "reminding" them of their loss. They already know! Every day, every hour. It is more comfortable to have it acknowledged than to leave it unsaid. It can be as simple as "You're still in my thoughts (or "prayers" if you KNOW they're religious) and wondered if you wanted to talk or go out together". Or "I was thinking of Bob the other day and how he always used to . . ."
Reply:Depends on the situation. If a group is sending a card (most people take up money for a co-worker for example) then it is appropriate.
If the funeral announcement specificially states "in lieu of flowers" and asks for money to be made to a particular charity, than the family is not really in dire straits and would rather money be sent to that organization.
Personally, I think a nice note placed in the sympathy card with an extended invitation to get together when it is a good time for that person would be best. After the service and everyone is gone, that is when people need the company.
Reply:Yes, I agree at times of loss, or what have you, cash would be appreciated., however I think it would be taken badly in most cases.
Would this be 'proper'? or an insult?
Seems that everyone can use cash, to help pay final expenses. . .
$$$ Gifts. . .??? ... Included in a sympathy card???...?
A gift card would be less blantant than cash. And one to the supermarket is pretty much a cash equivilant - everyone shops there every week.
I suppose you could contact the funeral home directly and ask to make an annonymous donation. I would take that kindly. I was struck and touched that the FH didn't charge us (their policy for the death of young children).
Don't discount the donations to charities, especially if one was selected by the family. I found those to be very meaningful to me.
While this is more of a small town thing, you can still do it in the big city: You can bring over a meal (lasagna, salad, bread) in throwaway containers with enough for leftovers. During grief, it can be a relief to have simple things like that (or mow the lawn, board the dog, etc) taken care of.
Also, strongly consider something like bringing a meal over, having them out to dinner or sending a card that you are thinking of them a few months from now. Everyone is really kind and thoughtful for a week or two and then, reasonably enough, they move on and figure the relatives have too. But months later, they are still impaired and (at a lower level) griefing. But no one acknowledges that anymore and they can be hesitate to ask for help.
Don't worry about "reminding" them of their loss. They already know! Every day, every hour. It is more comfortable to have it acknowledged than to leave it unsaid. It can be as simple as "You're still in my thoughts (or "prayers" if you KNOW they're religious) and wondered if you wanted to talk or go out together". Or "I was thinking of Bob the other day and how he always used to . . ."
Reply:Depends on the situation. If a group is sending a card (most people take up money for a co-worker for example) then it is appropriate.
If the funeral announcement specificially states "in lieu of flowers" and asks for money to be made to a particular charity, than the family is not really in dire straits and would rather money be sent to that organization.
Personally, I think a nice note placed in the sympathy card with an extended invitation to get together when it is a good time for that person would be best. After the service and everyone is gone, that is when people need the company.
Reply:Yes, I agree at times of loss, or what have you, cash would be appreciated., however I think it would be taken badly in most cases.
Sympathy gifts?
My friend's daughter passed away and I'd like to do something in recognition of her. I considered flowers, but was told by a friend that in her experience as the grieving family member that you get many of those and that many were redonated or thrown out.
What would be another good idea to just show I care? I am considering a nice fruit basket, but are there any other creative ideas? I had the suggestion of a monetary donation to the family, but I'm not sure my friend would be comfortable with that.
Sympathy gifts?
How old was the daughter? If she was young, I would say something like a beautiful angel ornament or other angelic knicknack to help your friend remember her daughter. Or maybe a cat or dog to have a warm being to hold and cuddle...
Reply:You could make cookies or make a cake. Something sweet always makes ppl happy. It wont get rid of her pain, but ppl love sweets, so you could try something like that.*
What would be another good idea to just show I care? I am considering a nice fruit basket, but are there any other creative ideas? I had the suggestion of a monetary donation to the family, but I'm not sure my friend would be comfortable with that.
Sympathy gifts?
How old was the daughter? If she was young, I would say something like a beautiful angel ornament or other angelic knicknack to help your friend remember her daughter. Or maybe a cat or dog to have a warm being to hold and cuddle...
Reply:You could make cookies or make a cake. Something sweet always makes ppl happy. It wont get rid of her pain, but ppl love sweets, so you could try something like that.*
Flowers for miscarriage?
Im thinking if it was me, Id like the gesture, but not sure Id want to look at them, then have to throw them out. I spose it would be the same for a funeral.
I cant decide if I should get some for a friend to show support (in addition to being there of course), then just go with something white? FTD shows some bright colorful bouquets in the sympathy section, which confuses me. Another friend said maybe a plant, but cant decide if that is more of a reminder vs a remembrance. Any thoughts?
Flowers for miscarriage?
It depends on the person. Maybe take a card and a meal and just let her know you are there if she needs something. But don't be pushy I lost a baby early in the pregnancy and my mother-in-law said you need to get out of the house she took me to walmart to walk around ,which I really just wanted to be left alone. But I passed a lot of gross stuff while there and had to go back home and change cloth's. Something in remembrance would be nice but if she can't take care of plants, live flowers could upset her more if it dies.
Reply:I dont think the color of the flower indicates that it is a sympathy bouquet or not. . . a simple spring mix would be fine. . . a handwritten note inside a card would be anice gesture.
I think its the thought that coutns and its very nice of you to do something kind. :-)
Reply:I think flowers would be a very nice idea. Not too many colors though - too cheery during a bad time.
Maybe get her a little pine tree or a bush of some kind that she can plant and keep. Not as a reminder of the pain and sadness but of the strength to get through this and for future children.
Reply:I would make her a really good meal and take it to her. That way you can give her a hug and tell her that you're thinking about her.
Reply:I HATED the arrangement my wife received after her (our) miscarriage. Couldn't stand to look at it. Maybe take her out to dinner and let her air out what see wants to. BTW, happy to say my wife (three years later) is 18 weeks into a very healthy pregnancy!
Reply:It depends on your friends' view of the world. She may see a gift as a form of rememberence and have to "throw it away", she also, could view it as a positive source of rememberence.
I would consider giving her something more everlasting as a commemoration of her lost child. If you have some money I would consider a nice pendant she can wear. Explain to her that you are not trying to give her a keep-sake, necessarily, of a difficult time in her life, but that it is your way of giving her the opportunity to remember this time in her life and focus on all of the wonderful things she could have in her future vs. the negative aspects of something she couldn't control.
That, and maybe a single WHITE rose. I wouldn't go with color.
Reply:You can send flowers, or a flowering bush. A tree or something she can plant in memorial of the baby lost is always a kind gesture. She is looking for love and support now, and I doubt that she will be upset that you're trying to help. You're a good friend!
Reply:I think the tree or plant is good as a rememberance. Flowers are also appropriate. I dont think your friend will care what it is, just the fact that you are thinking of her is will make it easier. Also I wouldn't go with white- too bland- go with something that has color - give her something that screams with NEW LIFE.
Reply:I hated any sort of arrangements that were sent to me after I miscarried after four months. I threw them all out because I didn't want any sort of reminder. It was hard enough to deal with the sympathy that everyone was trying to give, that I just needed sometome alone. I did appreciate the meals that were made and brought over. I also had a child who was a year, so anytime that someone wanted to spend time with her was great too.
I wouldn't go for the flower idea, it is really to hard to forget. Maybe stick to dinner, a little bit of house work if she is really distraught. Take her for walks, get her out of the house, doing something. Get her to talk about it too. The more she talks about it, hopefully the better she will start feeling.
Reply:Sure - send flowers. They die soon anyways.
You get flowers for sympathy - perfect time to send them. I would think it very nice and appreciate it if someone did that for me during that time.
sidi way rain boots
I cant decide if I should get some for a friend to show support (in addition to being there of course), then just go with something white? FTD shows some bright colorful bouquets in the sympathy section, which confuses me. Another friend said maybe a plant, but cant decide if that is more of a reminder vs a remembrance. Any thoughts?
Flowers for miscarriage?
It depends on the person. Maybe take a card and a meal and just let her know you are there if she needs something. But don't be pushy I lost a baby early in the pregnancy and my mother-in-law said you need to get out of the house she took me to walmart to walk around ,which I really just wanted to be left alone. But I passed a lot of gross stuff while there and had to go back home and change cloth's. Something in remembrance would be nice but if she can't take care of plants, live flowers could upset her more if it dies.
Reply:I dont think the color of the flower indicates that it is a sympathy bouquet or not. . . a simple spring mix would be fine. . . a handwritten note inside a card would be anice gesture.
I think its the thought that coutns and its very nice of you to do something kind. :-)
Reply:I think flowers would be a very nice idea. Not too many colors though - too cheery during a bad time.
Maybe get her a little pine tree or a bush of some kind that she can plant and keep. Not as a reminder of the pain and sadness but of the strength to get through this and for future children.
Reply:I would make her a really good meal and take it to her. That way you can give her a hug and tell her that you're thinking about her.
Reply:I HATED the arrangement my wife received after her (our) miscarriage. Couldn't stand to look at it. Maybe take her out to dinner and let her air out what see wants to. BTW, happy to say my wife (three years later) is 18 weeks into a very healthy pregnancy!
Reply:It depends on your friends' view of the world. She may see a gift as a form of rememberence and have to "throw it away", she also, could view it as a positive source of rememberence.
I would consider giving her something more everlasting as a commemoration of her lost child. If you have some money I would consider a nice pendant she can wear. Explain to her that you are not trying to give her a keep-sake, necessarily, of a difficult time in her life, but that it is your way of giving her the opportunity to remember this time in her life and focus on all of the wonderful things she could have in her future vs. the negative aspects of something she couldn't control.
That, and maybe a single WHITE rose. I wouldn't go with color.
Reply:You can send flowers, or a flowering bush. A tree or something she can plant in memorial of the baby lost is always a kind gesture. She is looking for love and support now, and I doubt that she will be upset that you're trying to help. You're a good friend!
Reply:I think the tree or plant is good as a rememberance. Flowers are also appropriate. I dont think your friend will care what it is, just the fact that you are thinking of her is will make it easier. Also I wouldn't go with white- too bland- go with something that has color - give her something that screams with NEW LIFE.
Reply:I hated any sort of arrangements that were sent to me after I miscarried after four months. I threw them all out because I didn't want any sort of reminder. It was hard enough to deal with the sympathy that everyone was trying to give, that I just needed sometome alone. I did appreciate the meals that were made and brought over. I also had a child who was a year, so anytime that someone wanted to spend time with her was great too.
I wouldn't go for the flower idea, it is really to hard to forget. Maybe stick to dinner, a little bit of house work if she is really distraught. Take her for walks, get her out of the house, doing something. Get her to talk about it too. The more she talks about it, hopefully the better she will start feeling.
Reply:Sure - send flowers. They die soon anyways.
You get flowers for sympathy - perfect time to send them. I would think it very nice and appreciate it if someone did that for me during that time.
sidi way rain boots
What to bring for sympathy (death)?
My girlfriend and her families good faimly friend recently had a death in the family. You may have seen it on the news. The Zahornacky man who was found in a lake this morning. I am leaving work early to go over there and was wondering the following.
Is it ok to bring flowers so soon? If so what kind?
Is there something else I could bring?
What to bring for sympathy (death)?
White lillies.
Reply:Flowers are usually something sent to a funeral. Most people bring food, a few good ideas are basket of muffins, breads, etc, or meat tray, veggie tray, something for them to have when people come over, and it is also something for them to eat, because naturally people forget to each when they are grieving and really have no time to cook with all the preparations that need to be made. It is always been helpful when I have had a death in the family and people have brought over food.
Reply:i would bring food they`re not going to feel like cooking
Reply:I think your being there for support is the most important thing you can bring at this time. There are so many things going on during a tragedy for a family, that having someone there for them is so important. You really don't have to bring anything, when you arrive, just ask if there is anything that they would like for you to do, or anything that they need. You are a good friend and I think just being that is the most important.
Reply:Yeah, flowers are great, just don't pick up anything really cheap just because you are in a hurry. Homemade food is usually appreciated - something you can just heat up like a casserole, because nobody feels like cooking.
Reply:Well, there are all kinds of cultural traditions...
is this family liekly to have a gathering at their house? Even if you don't go, some kind of prepared food might make thier lives and finances just a bit easier. I personally would appreciate that a whole lot more than flowers (especially bc they make me sneeze.)
Also, I don't know the situation, but if this has the media involved, might there be a related charity? Might a fund be set up for the family?
That would be the best of all.
May each of you, including the supporters, have all the support you need!
But if not,
Hey, help out with the food.
Reply:Its fine to bring flowers, if you ask the florist they will tell you what kind is appropriate. just bring your sympathy.
Reply:White lilies sign of sorrow and peace.
donate to their fav. charity.
Reply:In the South we bring food because it's the last thing the grieving family is thinking about. I've picked up fried chicken, a pie, made sandwiches... that sort of thing. The time to send flowers is to the funeral home before the viewimg of the body.
Reply:Flowers are ok, but you might want to wait for the funeral. Bring food and a sympathy card.
Reply:flowers would be ok. food is also something you usually can't go wrong with.
Reply:Respect for their sorrow and discipline to say the right thing...that's really all you need to have with you. If you are going around meal time perhaps pick up a meat and cheese tray from a local market...just in case anyone has skipped eating or simply doesn't want to go thru the trouble of preparing a meal...or seeming selfish for being hungry.
Reply:white lilys, no its not too soon!
Reply:I am sorry to hear about your loss.
As strange as this may sound, bring a dinner. Something they can just throw in the oven and not worry about. The last thing they are going to want to do is cook something. So this way at least you know they are going to eat, in this time of sorrow
Reply:I can tell you, as someone who has been in mourning, that food that has been prepared and only needs reheating is a nice thing.
When you're grieving, the last thing you want to do is cook dinner.
Reply:Right now, just go and offer support to the family. You do not need to take anything with you.
Reply:flowers would be nice, or people always bring food.
just a suggestion.
Reply:White lilies would be good.
Reply:just being there and having a shoulder to cry on good enough sometimes we feel like we need to bring something but having a friend there at a sad time is good so they would know who to turn to when they need to talk
Reply:It's traditional to bring food to a mourning family, so that they don't have to prepare meals for all their visitors. There is a great cookbook out there called "Being Dead is No Excuse" that has recipes for all the traditional mourning foods from the South.
Reply:Bring something for the family to eat. There will be many people stopping by and there should be little finger foods, water, and soda for he host family and the guest to eat. If you bring a flower let it be a plant, if they have plants. Perhaps a fruit basket will do the job woth out over doing it
Reply:flowers are good... though my assumption would be that they have plenty... Consider making food or purchasing some food... Cookies tend to go over nicely as do brownies... Offer to make/bring dinner for the family one night as I'd assume this is going to be rather drawn out and the last thing they care about right now is making food... Also in the long run, a small donation to a charity in honor of the man who passed away is probably the most heart-felt.
Reply:What a sad story.
I would get a sympathy arrangement sent to the home.
Maybe not today but tomorrow.
I sure hope they find out what happened.
Reply:Any flowers are appropiate, or food such as a simple casserole or lasagna, the last thing people want to do is cook when they are grieving and food is comforting.
Reply:From experience:
Go over there and show your support. Be yourself. Don't avoid talking about the decease, since that is all the people that are grieving are thinking about. Most people avoid even saying their name, say it often.
Remember that there is no one way to grieve and the family members will grieve differently.
In the next few days bring food. Remind them of a past story of the decease, talk often about them.
Is it ok to bring flowers so soon? If so what kind?
Is there something else I could bring?
What to bring for sympathy (death)?
White lillies.
Reply:Flowers are usually something sent to a funeral. Most people bring food, a few good ideas are basket of muffins, breads, etc, or meat tray, veggie tray, something for them to have when people come over, and it is also something for them to eat, because naturally people forget to each when they are grieving and really have no time to cook with all the preparations that need to be made. It is always been helpful when I have had a death in the family and people have brought over food.
Reply:i would bring food they`re not going to feel like cooking
Reply:I think your being there for support is the most important thing you can bring at this time. There are so many things going on during a tragedy for a family, that having someone there for them is so important. You really don't have to bring anything, when you arrive, just ask if there is anything that they would like for you to do, or anything that they need. You are a good friend and I think just being that is the most important.
Reply:Yeah, flowers are great, just don't pick up anything really cheap just because you are in a hurry. Homemade food is usually appreciated - something you can just heat up like a casserole, because nobody feels like cooking.
Reply:Well, there are all kinds of cultural traditions...
is this family liekly to have a gathering at their house? Even if you don't go, some kind of prepared food might make thier lives and finances just a bit easier. I personally would appreciate that a whole lot more than flowers (especially bc they make me sneeze.)
Also, I don't know the situation, but if this has the media involved, might there be a related charity? Might a fund be set up for the family?
That would be the best of all.
May each of you, including the supporters, have all the support you need!
But if not,
Hey, help out with the food.
Reply:Its fine to bring flowers, if you ask the florist they will tell you what kind is appropriate. just bring your sympathy.
Reply:White lilies sign of sorrow and peace.
donate to their fav. charity.
Reply:In the South we bring food because it's the last thing the grieving family is thinking about. I've picked up fried chicken, a pie, made sandwiches... that sort of thing. The time to send flowers is to the funeral home before the viewimg of the body.
Reply:Flowers are ok, but you might want to wait for the funeral. Bring food and a sympathy card.
Reply:flowers would be ok. food is also something you usually can't go wrong with.
Reply:Respect for their sorrow and discipline to say the right thing...that's really all you need to have with you. If you are going around meal time perhaps pick up a meat and cheese tray from a local market...just in case anyone has skipped eating or simply doesn't want to go thru the trouble of preparing a meal...or seeming selfish for being hungry.
Reply:white lilys, no its not too soon!
Reply:I am sorry to hear about your loss.
As strange as this may sound, bring a dinner. Something they can just throw in the oven and not worry about. The last thing they are going to want to do is cook something. So this way at least you know they are going to eat, in this time of sorrow
Reply:I can tell you, as someone who has been in mourning, that food that has been prepared and only needs reheating is a nice thing.
When you're grieving, the last thing you want to do is cook dinner.
Reply:Right now, just go and offer support to the family. You do not need to take anything with you.
Reply:flowers would be nice, or people always bring food.
just a suggestion.
Reply:White lilies would be good.
Reply:just being there and having a shoulder to cry on good enough sometimes we feel like we need to bring something but having a friend there at a sad time is good so they would know who to turn to when they need to talk
Reply:It's traditional to bring food to a mourning family, so that they don't have to prepare meals for all their visitors. There is a great cookbook out there called "Being Dead is No Excuse" that has recipes for all the traditional mourning foods from the South.
Reply:Bring something for the family to eat. There will be many people stopping by and there should be little finger foods, water, and soda for he host family and the guest to eat. If you bring a flower let it be a plant, if they have plants. Perhaps a fruit basket will do the job woth out over doing it
Reply:flowers are good... though my assumption would be that they have plenty... Consider making food or purchasing some food... Cookies tend to go over nicely as do brownies... Offer to make/bring dinner for the family one night as I'd assume this is going to be rather drawn out and the last thing they care about right now is making food... Also in the long run, a small donation to a charity in honor of the man who passed away is probably the most heart-felt.
Reply:What a sad story.
I would get a sympathy arrangement sent to the home.
Maybe not today but tomorrow.
I sure hope they find out what happened.
Reply:Any flowers are appropiate, or food such as a simple casserole or lasagna, the last thing people want to do is cook when they are grieving and food is comforting.
Reply:From experience:
Go over there and show your support. Be yourself. Don't avoid talking about the decease, since that is all the people that are grieving are thinking about. Most people avoid even saying their name, say it often.
Remember that there is no one way to grieve and the family members will grieve differently.
In the next few days bring food. Remind them of a past story of the decease, talk often about them.
Looking for the perfect condolence/sympathy quote to send to a family member ASAP!?
i've got to send some flowers online within the next few minutes for the death of my semi-close stepmother that lives on the east coast. If anybody out there has a good quote that is inspirational, heartfelt but without being overly religious or cheesy, please send it my way or direct me to the link where i might find one. i've been searching and so far no luck. please get back to me. asap!
Looking for the perfect condolence/sympathy quote to send to a family member ASAP!?
May your memories be of great comfort to you.
God bless****
Reply:None of us knew her but you. IMO your the tops for sharing with us that you love her and and those who survive her. You could ask the flower shop or get some quotes online when you order but they won't be personal or allow you to express yourself in your own words.
Reply:To be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord.
Reply:Maybe this will help.
http://www.quotegarden.com/sympathy.html
Looking for the perfect condolence/sympathy quote to send to a family member ASAP!?
May your memories be of great comfort to you.
God bless****
Reply:None of us knew her but you. IMO your the tops for sharing with us that you love her and and those who survive her. You could ask the flower shop or get some quotes online when you order but they won't be personal or allow you to express yourself in your own words.
Reply:To be absent in the body is to be present with the Lord.
Reply:Maybe this will help.
http://www.quotegarden.com/sympathy.html
When is the ideal time to visit after a death?
My cousin's, whom I was very close with during childhood, grandmother passed away yesterday. I was also very close to her mother (my aunt) even after her and my uncle divorced. I would really like to visit to express my sympathy, but I don't know when too soon is too soon! Thankfully, I'm not very familiar with how to handle this type of situation. Also, should I just show up, or should I bring a gift (plant, flowers, etc) with me? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
When is the ideal time to visit after a death?
Call this afternoon and perhaps stop by this evening ask her if it's OK if I stop by? Perhaps bring a box cookies or a small plant. I am sure your cousin would love to see you. Visitors at this time let the family know people care. It also helps the person "think" about something else for just a moment. Don't stay a long time 20 minutes is good. The whole situation and arrangements around the death are very tiring for the family. If you can offer any small help feel free to ask if they need help with anything. See if they need any errands run.If they should give you a task please try to do it. A week or so after the burial call again and see if she might be up for a visit.
Reply:It's never too soon or too late to visit but keep in mind, does the person have guests from out of town staying w/them? If so perhaps stop by w/a hug %26amp; an offer to be there if they need anything, but dont stay. Then later when the house guests leave visit again and stay a short while, perhaps bring a covered dish this trip, food from others received earlier will be gone, old, or they are just tired of it, a new dish will be appreciated.
Remember, it's ok to talk about the person that passed on, no matter how long after the death. Sure it might bring some tears, but the survivor will be thrilled that others did not forget the deceased just becaused (s)he died. The survivor longs to hear the deceased persons name spoken out loud by others. I know I do !! This Thursday, March 29th will be the 3rd anniversary of the passing of my son and only child. He was 23. My heartfelt sympathy to you for your loss.
Reply:Visit now and bring food.
Reply:It's not at all too soon. Yes, bring flowers or maybe a covered dish. Okay to just show up, or you could call first.
Reply:It's never too soon, and it's never too late, either. Grief is a very, very long process, they will be in pain and need support long after the funeral and people stop dropping by so frequently. Drop by whenever, but bring some food. It helps to bring something that can be frozen and reheated, as a lot of people will probably bring food, and that way, they can save it for a day when they just really don't want to cook.
Reply:I'm very sorry for your loss.
Phone your cousin today. Tell her that you're very sorry and that you love her and let her know you'd like to come for a visit tomorrow. Bring a prepared meal and a sympathy card.
If she says she isn't up for a visit yet, go anyway but don't stay. Just drop off a sympathy card and a prepared dinner.
Send a sympathy card to your aunt. She'd love a prepared dinner too.
Ask when/where the visitation is taking place. Go to the visitation and the funeral. Ask if there is anything you can do to help.
Reply:it's never to soon to express your sympathy. The day my grandpa passed away my of my friend and family members came over and told me how sorry they were and you don't have to bring a gift just you taking the time out of your day is nice enough.
Reply:Visit tomorrow, but call today, and bring a casserole.
When is the ideal time to visit after a death?
Call this afternoon and perhaps stop by this evening ask her if it's OK if I stop by? Perhaps bring a box cookies or a small plant. I am sure your cousin would love to see you. Visitors at this time let the family know people care. It also helps the person "think" about something else for just a moment. Don't stay a long time 20 minutes is good. The whole situation and arrangements around the death are very tiring for the family. If you can offer any small help feel free to ask if they need help with anything. See if they need any errands run.If they should give you a task please try to do it. A week or so after the burial call again and see if she might be up for a visit.
Reply:It's never too soon or too late to visit but keep in mind, does the person have guests from out of town staying w/them? If so perhaps stop by w/a hug %26amp; an offer to be there if they need anything, but dont stay. Then later when the house guests leave visit again and stay a short while, perhaps bring a covered dish this trip, food from others received earlier will be gone, old, or they are just tired of it, a new dish will be appreciated.
Remember, it's ok to talk about the person that passed on, no matter how long after the death. Sure it might bring some tears, but the survivor will be thrilled that others did not forget the deceased just becaused (s)he died. The survivor longs to hear the deceased persons name spoken out loud by others. I know I do !! This Thursday, March 29th will be the 3rd anniversary of the passing of my son and only child. He was 23. My heartfelt sympathy to you for your loss.
Reply:Visit now and bring food.
Reply:It's not at all too soon. Yes, bring flowers or maybe a covered dish. Okay to just show up, or you could call first.
Reply:It's never too soon, and it's never too late, either. Grief is a very, very long process, they will be in pain and need support long after the funeral and people stop dropping by so frequently. Drop by whenever, but bring some food. It helps to bring something that can be frozen and reheated, as a lot of people will probably bring food, and that way, they can save it for a day when they just really don't want to cook.
Reply:I'm very sorry for your loss.
Phone your cousin today. Tell her that you're very sorry and that you love her and let her know you'd like to come for a visit tomorrow. Bring a prepared meal and a sympathy card.
If she says she isn't up for a visit yet, go anyway but don't stay. Just drop off a sympathy card and a prepared dinner.
Send a sympathy card to your aunt. She'd love a prepared dinner too.
Ask when/where the visitation is taking place. Go to the visitation and the funeral. Ask if there is anything you can do to help.
Reply:it's never to soon to express your sympathy. The day my grandpa passed away my of my friend and family members came over and told me how sorry they were and you don't have to bring a gift just you taking the time out of your day is nice enough.
Reply:Visit tomorrow, but call today, and bring a casserole.
Friend's father passed away in India - what is proper custom in india to express sympathy?
what is appropriate way to give condolences. I don't know if flowers are appropriate - is there something specific in Indian customs that would be more appropriate in this case?
Friend's father passed away in India - what is proper custom in india to express sympathy?
I am from Pakistan but know very well Indian customs.
India is a multi-religion country; people living togather.
Just express your views about the importance and role of father and than express your sorrow and condolance for an irrepairable loss your friend has met.
Reply:i dont think flowers are accepted but mayb u can make acall and give away your condolences.
company
Friend's father passed away in India - what is proper custom in india to express sympathy?
I am from Pakistan but know very well Indian customs.
India is a multi-religion country; people living togather.
Just express your views about the importance and role of father and than express your sorrow and condolance for an irrepairable loss your friend has met.
Reply:i dont think flowers are accepted but mayb u can make acall and give away your condolences.
company
On line Flower Shops?
I need to find a Cheap Online Flower Shop Fast! I Need Sympathy Flowers for my Grandfather's Funeral.
On line Flower Shops?
This is a mail order place, but if you don't mind paying extra for express delivery they can help you out. Go to: www@mileskimball.com. Look for the dozen long stemmed roses. They're available in: pink, red, or yellow. I don't sell anything, but I buy many things from them. I have bought the pink ones for my mom %26amp; dad's 50th anniversary in the past. They were beautiful!
Reply:Without knowing which country you reside in, it's difficult to give an answer.
Your best move is to do a local Google search or an online yellow pages search.
Sorry to learn of your grandfather's death.
Reply:FTD.com is a well known flower merchant. They won't send you any crap flowers that should have been thrown out and if you ask about it (they also have an 800#) you may be able to get a arrangement of cheaper if it isn't the high demand type flowers like roses.
On line Flower Shops?
This is a mail order place, but if you don't mind paying extra for express delivery they can help you out. Go to: www@mileskimball.com. Look for the dozen long stemmed roses. They're available in: pink, red, or yellow. I don't sell anything, but I buy many things from them. I have bought the pink ones for my mom %26amp; dad's 50th anniversary in the past. They were beautiful!
Reply:Without knowing which country you reside in, it's difficult to give an answer.
Your best move is to do a local Google search or an online yellow pages search.
Sorry to learn of your grandfather's death.
Reply:FTD.com is a well known flower merchant. They won't send you any crap flowers that should have been thrown out and if you ask about it (they also have an 800#) you may be able to get a arrangement of cheaper if it isn't the high demand type flowers like roses.
Is there a site online that allows one to find the death notices of people who have died recently?
Since I live out of my home state, and have found that several people I know have past away recently without me knowing about it in a timely fashion (not allowing me enough time to send sympathy cards, flowers, etc.) , I am wondering if there is a way to find out if people from one's past have died. In other words, is there one site that keeps track of all death notices rather than trying to find specific papers for cities and then individually searching for death notices by name? Could I just go to a site and type in "Peggy Smith" and find out if anybody by that name has died recently and where she resides? Thanks for your help!
Is there a site online that allows one to find the death notices of people who have died recently?
no.
1) no money to be made from a "death site"
2) it's bad PR
and even if your local paper has a web version, doesn't mean said person who passes away placed an obit
Reply:http://www.google.com/search?q=death+not...
Reply:Check the Obituaries of the newspaper local to the deceased.
Reply:idk
Is there a site online that allows one to find the death notices of people who have died recently?
no.
1) no money to be made from a "death site"
2) it's bad PR
and even if your local paper has a web version, doesn't mean said person who passes away placed an obit
Reply:http://www.google.com/search?q=death+not...
Reply:Check the Obituaries of the newspaper local to the deceased.
Reply:idk
Ok to send flowers to the house the day after a funeral? What else could I do?
I just found out a former boss's father has died, and she was very close to him (he lived with her). She is my former boss, but also I have known her for a long time, and we used to visit socially. We haven't been social for about 5 years, not for any bad reason, just lost touch.
The funeral is tomorrow, I'm very sick and can't make it. I was going to have flowers sent to the house tomorrow, but same-day delivery bouquets (since it's after the cutoff time) are pretty scrawny and way out of my price range with the rush same-day delivery fee.
I was thinking of having flowers sent to the house on the following day or some other time this week. Is this tacky/unacceptable?
My other idea was to mail a sympathy card with a $50 gift certificate for a restaurant, so she can treat her family to take out or something to make meals easier, etc.
Please don't bash me, I'm just trying to figure out what the right thing to do is, with what I've got. Any other ideas would be great
Ok to send flowers to the house the day after a funeral? What else could I do?
Ill be flat honest here from my experience. A death in the family is a hard time. Someone else mentioned that flowers are just another item that has to be dealt with. And that is soooo true. I mean really, no one is going to be planting flowers or worry about watering them right after a death. They are going to die and its just something else that has to be done.
Food is the first thought for most people. Our family has always been over run by food during times like that - and its great!!! But please, use disposable dishes. Again, one more thing to deal with. It is sooo nerve racking to have to sit and contact all these people to get their dishes back. Like I really want to deal with that next week when I have just buried my family?
Some will say cash is tacky. But likely, cash is probably needed at times like that. No one is cooking, you have to make arrangments, probably go get a dress to wear, run around taking care of this and that. Fast food and take out is probably all that will be eaten for a couple weeks. I have suddennly just spent a great deal of money that I wasnt counting on, I have no idea how I am going to make the payments on this..... Yeah, cash is needed. These are the times when youshould give what is needed not worry about whats polite.
Showing up at the door ready to clean (with permission), or offering your time to help take care of small children while the adults are taking care of things.
A nice card would really be al thats necessary since you are not activly in this persons life. But if you are going to spend money, go with a visa gift card or prepaid credit card that can be used anywhere. That will be appreciated and get used, while the flowers will likely get neglegted, die, and get thrown out.
Reply:Flowers are over done and will just be another item to deal with. Cash, who needs that from a funeral? A simple card stating how you feel is all that is needed. Since you had social ties as well, once well. It might be a good time to just pay a visit. A 1 hour person to person conversation holds much more weight than any cash or flowers could. Even a card with a small notes holds more.
Reply:flower are sweet i did the same for a friend when her cuz passed it dose help and also u can instead of the gift card to a restaurant u could make them dinner and take it over cuz they may not want to go out but than agian they might need to get out and get there minds off of things but u have a good idea it is sweet and shows u care
Reply:do not send money.. now is not the time. sending flowers is the most perfectly acceptable thing to do... the best.. and they will appreciate it.
Reply:A dish garden or a fruit basket would be appropriate as well....
Reply:A donation to a charity is a far better idea than cut flowers sent to the house.
Reply:no money, card and flowers later if you can will be wonderful!
Reply:Sympathy cards and flowers are acceptable at this time. Right now the bereaved needs more emotional help than financial help. No amount of money can replace the loss and the pain of a loved one.
You can consider writing this in your sympathy card "I recently heard about the loss of your loved one. I am very sorry for your loss. There are not enough words to say to take the pain away but just to let you know if you need anything, let me know and I will be there at your aide. You are in our thoughts and prayers."
I am in similar situation. I lost my father in law last week and my best friend wrote a very brief message and in the end she writes "hope you are doing well.", which is sorta offensive to me.because we are not doing well. Maybe it would be fine if she wrote more. We bereaved folks can be extra sensitive to words.
Reply:I think at first the response is overwhelming for the family, in the past i was told by a family member that it is the time after, a few weeks down the road when the phone calls slowly stop, and the cards stop coming in, and the people don't drop by as often, is when people start to really feel the loss. I can recommend that probably the nicest thing you could do down the road is cook a nice meal and take it over to her so she has a prepared meal for a day or two would probably help immensely and it would show that you cared and were thinking of her.
The funeral is tomorrow, I'm very sick and can't make it. I was going to have flowers sent to the house tomorrow, but same-day delivery bouquets (since it's after the cutoff time) are pretty scrawny and way out of my price range with the rush same-day delivery fee.
I was thinking of having flowers sent to the house on the following day or some other time this week. Is this tacky/unacceptable?
My other idea was to mail a sympathy card with a $50 gift certificate for a restaurant, so she can treat her family to take out or something to make meals easier, etc.
Please don't bash me, I'm just trying to figure out what the right thing to do is, with what I've got. Any other ideas would be great
Ok to send flowers to the house the day after a funeral? What else could I do?
Ill be flat honest here from my experience. A death in the family is a hard time. Someone else mentioned that flowers are just another item that has to be dealt with. And that is soooo true. I mean really, no one is going to be planting flowers or worry about watering them right after a death. They are going to die and its just something else that has to be done.
Food is the first thought for most people. Our family has always been over run by food during times like that - and its great!!! But please, use disposable dishes. Again, one more thing to deal with. It is sooo nerve racking to have to sit and contact all these people to get their dishes back. Like I really want to deal with that next week when I have just buried my family?
Some will say cash is tacky. But likely, cash is probably needed at times like that. No one is cooking, you have to make arrangments, probably go get a dress to wear, run around taking care of this and that. Fast food and take out is probably all that will be eaten for a couple weeks. I have suddennly just spent a great deal of money that I wasnt counting on, I have no idea how I am going to make the payments on this..... Yeah, cash is needed. These are the times when youshould give what is needed not worry about whats polite.
Showing up at the door ready to clean (with permission), or offering your time to help take care of small children while the adults are taking care of things.
A nice card would really be al thats necessary since you are not activly in this persons life. But if you are going to spend money, go with a visa gift card or prepaid credit card that can be used anywhere. That will be appreciated and get used, while the flowers will likely get neglegted, die, and get thrown out.
Reply:Flowers are over done and will just be another item to deal with. Cash, who needs that from a funeral? A simple card stating how you feel is all that is needed. Since you had social ties as well, once well. It might be a good time to just pay a visit. A 1 hour person to person conversation holds much more weight than any cash or flowers could. Even a card with a small notes holds more.
Reply:flower are sweet i did the same for a friend when her cuz passed it dose help and also u can instead of the gift card to a restaurant u could make them dinner and take it over cuz they may not want to go out but than agian they might need to get out and get there minds off of things but u have a good idea it is sweet and shows u care
Reply:do not send money.. now is not the time. sending flowers is the most perfectly acceptable thing to do... the best.. and they will appreciate it.
Reply:A dish garden or a fruit basket would be appropriate as well....
Reply:A donation to a charity is a far better idea than cut flowers sent to the house.
Reply:no money, card and flowers later if you can will be wonderful!
Reply:Sympathy cards and flowers are acceptable at this time. Right now the bereaved needs more emotional help than financial help. No amount of money can replace the loss and the pain of a loved one.
You can consider writing this in your sympathy card "I recently heard about the loss of your loved one. I am very sorry for your loss. There are not enough words to say to take the pain away but just to let you know if you need anything, let me know and I will be there at your aide. You are in our thoughts and prayers."
I am in similar situation. I lost my father in law last week and my best friend wrote a very brief message and in the end she writes "hope you are doing well.", which is sorta offensive to me.because we are not doing well. Maybe it would be fine if she wrote more. We bereaved folks can be extra sensitive to words.
Reply:I think at first the response is overwhelming for the family, in the past i was told by a family member that it is the time after, a few weeks down the road when the phone calls slowly stop, and the cards stop coming in, and the people don't drop by as often, is when people start to really feel the loss. I can recommend that probably the nicest thing you could do down the road is cook a nice meal and take it over to her so she has a prepared meal for a day or two would probably help immensely and it would show that you cared and were thinking of her.
Do You Feel Any Sympathy for Omaha Mall Shooter? Some people do and I dont understand why.?
The mall shooter was described in newspaper reports today as quiet and depressed. I think the newspaper reporters wanted a music track of violins playing hearts and flowers.
Quiet and depressed is a vast understatement. The mall shooter was angry, malevolent, psychotic, and a common criminal with a gun who was too much of a coward to go to prison for what he had done. That's why he shot himself.
I don't have sympathy for him, and I don't think most people do either. I think most people are disgusted to read the hearts and flowers shrinkage of the kid.
He fits an all-too-familiar pattern: Kids playing with real guns as if they are playing video games. And it doesn't quite work to say they were desensitized to violence, because after all he was sensitized enough to know how horrific it was and to make sure he wasn't around to answer for it.
Do You Feel Any Sympathy for Omaha Mall Shooter? Some people do and I dont understand why.?
I'm not saying i do or don't, but it's much easier to hate someone if you make them out to be a vicious monster. The fact is, these people are generally the way they are because we as a society set up the conditions to make them the way they are.
So...while I may or may not feel sympathy for a person like this, I'd still recognize that I and the rest of society have failed these people, and they need to be dealt with accordingly.
Reply:I sympathize with his life circumstances, but I think he should burn in hell for taking it out on innocent people.
Reply:Killing yourself is evolution in action killing others without just cause is WRONG ! The police and political hacks however won't let us defend ourselves { perhaps the are afraid we might wellll never mind } if you had shot the bastard while he was shooting those people and saved some lives the police would arrest you and try you for murder something is definitely wrong with this picture!
Reply:I never heard anyone say they were sympathetic to him. Actually if you hear someone saying they can understand why he did that, it's a warning sign that the person who said it maybe be in a major depression or have some other mental illness and you should tell someone who can get them help because they are thinking along the same lines as the killer. That's why it is so common to have 'copy cat killers' after incidences like this!
Reply:You should be in office.... Yeah, what are "warning signs" anyways? Arent most teens depressed? I was, but I didnt kill anyone... And, how exactly do you act on "warning signs" Who is the authority on this? Police? yeah right! School officials? Yeah right..... So, who Do we tell? It all seems to fit together after the fact, society wants to always shift blame for some reason.
Reply:Ha. Good question!
No I don't.
He disregarded the lives of innocent people so, just like that deranged Cho clown in Virginia,
GOOD RIDDANCE to bad rubbish.
And he didn't accept help...
I do feel sorry for his family, though.
Reply:I feel sorry for those he shot and their families.
Reply:Yes, but I feel anger at his parents also. I really feel extra sorry for the innocent mall shoppers. Its just a real bad situation.
Reply:I do feel that this kid had tough breaks. I don't care who you are but not being wanted by your own family tends to mess you up. I'm not justifying what he did because what he did was obviously wrong but I do feel for him. There were warning signs and maybe if someone had picked up on them then we wouldn't be talking about this right now and 8 innocent people would still be alive today.
Reply:i agree with Snardlers
Reply:No, he only did it for attention. The dumbest thing was how he thought that was going out in style..what?? that doesn't even make sense. Everytime I see his stupid little emo face I wanna punch it. Im sorry for his parents.
I don't blame his parents, the media, video games, tv or his peers, I blame the idiot with the gun, and thats it.
Reply:I don't know if I feel sympathy for him, but he was definitely a person who had serious emotional problems. He was not a normal kid who happened to play too many video games. He had received a significant amount of psychiatric treatment, which apparently wasn't enough.
Reply:I am a Christian and well in my opinion this is where God steps in, these fools think they can escape punishment but they cannot escape God, and I promise you he will have to answer to God on why he murdered those people.
Reply:I have nothing more that can be said that you didnt already say. I feel the exact same way. I dont care how old he was, and if he just broke up with his girlfriend or not, its just not right. i feel no sympathy for him what so ever. but i do wonder,, what made him write that letter to his mother before he killed all them people and himself saying,," now i'll be famous" ? was his mother or someone on his case about something? either way, he shouldn't have shotten anyone, but if he had to, it should have been himself 1st.
Reply:It's too bad, but he is like soooo many other teenagers these days, and they don't go to malls and kill people...
I feel sorry for all kids that have pitiful lives, it's suppose to be stress free and full of love...it's how you deal with your problems that make you or break you as an individual....
Reply:I would agree with your last paragraph... I did not know the individual, but his act was an act of a coward. Like u said, he was a criminal, who didn't want to face the punishment for his crimes. And instead of just ending it for himself, he took innocent people with him. Why would anyone feel sympathy for such a sad excuse of a human being?
Reply:No, I don't
He was weak, and he killed people because he was a failure at life. I have no sympathy for him
Reply:nope no sympathy here...i mean come on..it's the holiday season...even the crazy's should take a vacation. don't you think!
Oh and one more thing...it's b/c of crazy stupid selfish ppl like this kid that is going to get out #2 right taken away from us. This just adds fuel to the Liberal parties agenda to get the right to bare fire arms banded in this nation! I will not stand for it...b/c what i want to know is where were the parents on this? why aren't the parents and their lack of child rearing to blame also...i grew up with guns in the house...never once did i think about touching or playing with them. I've gone through some major hardships in my 28 yrs on this earth and never have i ever thought about shooting ppl and committing suicide...why? b/c my mother raised me to be a strong person...and if i did feel like suicide she raised me to be compassionate also...so i would never bring other ppl with me. That's just cowardice.
Reply:No i feel bad for his family that has to put up with people snarling at them and you REALLY can not help who u r related to! I feel very sorry for the innocent people who lost their lives just by being at work and shopping.. I fell sorry for their family who have to make some kind of sense out of this whole mess. AS for the dumb a*( kid he will pay for what he did one way or another.....
Reply:I have no sympathy for this madman who killed and wounded all these innocent people because he wanted to be famous. May he rot in hell!
Reply:While I don't know that I can sympathize with what the shooter did, I can understand the reasoning behind what made him do what he did. According to the report I saw on the "Today Show" he:
-was described as a "lost puppy" that no one paid attention to
-was kicked out of his parents house for quitting school
-was living with a friend's family - even though his parent's lived nearby
-had just broken up with his girlfriend
-had just been fired from his job at McDonald's
So here you have a lonley, disturbed, obviously depressed, isolated individual who lost the only things that tethered him to society (girlfriend, job, parental guidance/affection, a stable home). Since he most likely felt there was nothing left to lose, and (probably) harbored resentment for a society that didn't care about him or what he was going through, he decided to end his own life, and in the process, try to acheive the notoriety that he could never realize in life.
It's very easy to understand how someone can be driven to their "snapping point", but that does not excuse their actions, because they wind up taking out people who had NOTHING to do with why their lives are the way they are.
This has been happening more and more in this country, yet no one wants to address the bigger issue here, which is that many people slip between the cracks of society every day due to the self-involved nature of us all, who see someone who is obviously troubled, yet do nothing about it. We seem to have a complacent, apathetic lassez-faire attitude of "it's someone else's problem" rather than taking the reins when we see this in others and trying to get them some help.
Until we become less self-absorbed as a society, incidents like this will continue to happen more frequently.
Reply:It is sick...Where do these Jack holes get AK-47s?????
Reply:What you don't understand is that it was people like you, by failing to feel any sympathy for this kid since his traumatic childhood, who helped to create the climate of complete rejection that made him feel he had nothing to lose. Such tragedies can't be remedied once they happen. We as members of society should be looking for ways to prevent them. The mentality of after-the-fact condemnation cannot save lives.
Reply:He is a loser and a retard. Killing innocent people during Christmas shopping. Kids these day are on too loose a leash. They need to learn about respect and morals. Feeling sorry for a murderer is twisted, those people need to get their heads checked.
those who gave a thumbs down for my answer. Your probably the reason why we get twisted individuals like this murderer. Get your damn heads checked.
Reply:Nope, he and he alone choose to shoot those people. He is not "an hero".
Reply:No, there's always people whining how their life is so hard. While they sit in their suburbian 2 parent home and cut themselves. Meanwhile, 10 year olds are forced to perform guerilla warfare with AK-47s in Sudan and aren't whining about sh*t.
Reply:f*ck 'em .. no sympathy for a killer.
Reply:i dont understand how ppl that are depressed think killing ppl before killing themselves is gonna help anything... he was probably depressed because he spent way to much time playing video games instead of socializing like normal ppl.
Reply:sounds like you could use some meds too
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Quiet and depressed is a vast understatement. The mall shooter was angry, malevolent, psychotic, and a common criminal with a gun who was too much of a coward to go to prison for what he had done. That's why he shot himself.
I don't have sympathy for him, and I don't think most people do either. I think most people are disgusted to read the hearts and flowers shrinkage of the kid.
He fits an all-too-familiar pattern: Kids playing with real guns as if they are playing video games. And it doesn't quite work to say they were desensitized to violence, because after all he was sensitized enough to know how horrific it was and to make sure he wasn't around to answer for it.
Do You Feel Any Sympathy for Omaha Mall Shooter? Some people do and I dont understand why.?
I'm not saying i do or don't, but it's much easier to hate someone if you make them out to be a vicious monster. The fact is, these people are generally the way they are because we as a society set up the conditions to make them the way they are.
So...while I may or may not feel sympathy for a person like this, I'd still recognize that I and the rest of society have failed these people, and they need to be dealt with accordingly.
Reply:I sympathize with his life circumstances, but I think he should burn in hell for taking it out on innocent people.
Reply:Killing yourself is evolution in action killing others without just cause is WRONG ! The police and political hacks however won't let us defend ourselves { perhaps the are afraid we might wellll never mind } if you had shot the bastard while he was shooting those people and saved some lives the police would arrest you and try you for murder something is definitely wrong with this picture!
Reply:I never heard anyone say they were sympathetic to him. Actually if you hear someone saying they can understand why he did that, it's a warning sign that the person who said it maybe be in a major depression or have some other mental illness and you should tell someone who can get them help because they are thinking along the same lines as the killer. That's why it is so common to have 'copy cat killers' after incidences like this!
Reply:You should be in office.... Yeah, what are "warning signs" anyways? Arent most teens depressed? I was, but I didnt kill anyone... And, how exactly do you act on "warning signs" Who is the authority on this? Police? yeah right! School officials? Yeah right..... So, who Do we tell? It all seems to fit together after the fact, society wants to always shift blame for some reason.
Reply:Ha. Good question!
No I don't.
He disregarded the lives of innocent people so, just like that deranged Cho clown in Virginia,
GOOD RIDDANCE to bad rubbish.
And he didn't accept help...
I do feel sorry for his family, though.
Reply:I feel sorry for those he shot and their families.
Reply:Yes, but I feel anger at his parents also. I really feel extra sorry for the innocent mall shoppers. Its just a real bad situation.
Reply:I do feel that this kid had tough breaks. I don't care who you are but not being wanted by your own family tends to mess you up. I'm not justifying what he did because what he did was obviously wrong but I do feel for him. There were warning signs and maybe if someone had picked up on them then we wouldn't be talking about this right now and 8 innocent people would still be alive today.
Reply:i agree with Snardlers
Reply:No, he only did it for attention. The dumbest thing was how he thought that was going out in style..what?? that doesn't even make sense. Everytime I see his stupid little emo face I wanna punch it. Im sorry for his parents.
I don't blame his parents, the media, video games, tv or his peers, I blame the idiot with the gun, and thats it.
Reply:I don't know if I feel sympathy for him, but he was definitely a person who had serious emotional problems. He was not a normal kid who happened to play too many video games. He had received a significant amount of psychiatric treatment, which apparently wasn't enough.
Reply:I am a Christian and well in my opinion this is where God steps in, these fools think they can escape punishment but they cannot escape God, and I promise you he will have to answer to God on why he murdered those people.
Reply:I have nothing more that can be said that you didnt already say. I feel the exact same way. I dont care how old he was, and if he just broke up with his girlfriend or not, its just not right. i feel no sympathy for him what so ever. but i do wonder,, what made him write that letter to his mother before he killed all them people and himself saying,," now i'll be famous" ? was his mother or someone on his case about something? either way, he shouldn't have shotten anyone, but if he had to, it should have been himself 1st.
Reply:It's too bad, but he is like soooo many other teenagers these days, and they don't go to malls and kill people...
I feel sorry for all kids that have pitiful lives, it's suppose to be stress free and full of love...it's how you deal with your problems that make you or break you as an individual....
Reply:I would agree with your last paragraph... I did not know the individual, but his act was an act of a coward. Like u said, he was a criminal, who didn't want to face the punishment for his crimes. And instead of just ending it for himself, he took innocent people with him. Why would anyone feel sympathy for such a sad excuse of a human being?
Reply:No, I don't
He was weak, and he killed people because he was a failure at life. I have no sympathy for him
Reply:nope no sympathy here...i mean come on..it's the holiday season...even the crazy's should take a vacation. don't you think!
Oh and one more thing...it's b/c of crazy stupid selfish ppl like this kid that is going to get out #2 right taken away from us. This just adds fuel to the Liberal parties agenda to get the right to bare fire arms banded in this nation! I will not stand for it...b/c what i want to know is where were the parents on this? why aren't the parents and their lack of child rearing to blame also...i grew up with guns in the house...never once did i think about touching or playing with them. I've gone through some major hardships in my 28 yrs on this earth and never have i ever thought about shooting ppl and committing suicide...why? b/c my mother raised me to be a strong person...and if i did feel like suicide she raised me to be compassionate also...so i would never bring other ppl with me. That's just cowardice.
Reply:No i feel bad for his family that has to put up with people snarling at them and you REALLY can not help who u r related to! I feel very sorry for the innocent people who lost their lives just by being at work and shopping.. I fell sorry for their family who have to make some kind of sense out of this whole mess. AS for the dumb a*( kid he will pay for what he did one way or another.....
Reply:I have no sympathy for this madman who killed and wounded all these innocent people because he wanted to be famous. May he rot in hell!
Reply:While I don't know that I can sympathize with what the shooter did, I can understand the reasoning behind what made him do what he did. According to the report I saw on the "Today Show" he:
-was described as a "lost puppy" that no one paid attention to
-was kicked out of his parents house for quitting school
-was living with a friend's family - even though his parent's lived nearby
-had just broken up with his girlfriend
-had just been fired from his job at McDonald's
So here you have a lonley, disturbed, obviously depressed, isolated individual who lost the only things that tethered him to society (girlfriend, job, parental guidance/affection, a stable home). Since he most likely felt there was nothing left to lose, and (probably) harbored resentment for a society that didn't care about him or what he was going through, he decided to end his own life, and in the process, try to acheive the notoriety that he could never realize in life.
It's very easy to understand how someone can be driven to their "snapping point", but that does not excuse their actions, because they wind up taking out people who had NOTHING to do with why their lives are the way they are.
This has been happening more and more in this country, yet no one wants to address the bigger issue here, which is that many people slip between the cracks of society every day due to the self-involved nature of us all, who see someone who is obviously troubled, yet do nothing about it. We seem to have a complacent, apathetic lassez-faire attitude of "it's someone else's problem" rather than taking the reins when we see this in others and trying to get them some help.
Until we become less self-absorbed as a society, incidents like this will continue to happen more frequently.
Reply:It is sick...Where do these Jack holes get AK-47s?????
Reply:What you don't understand is that it was people like you, by failing to feel any sympathy for this kid since his traumatic childhood, who helped to create the climate of complete rejection that made him feel he had nothing to lose. Such tragedies can't be remedied once they happen. We as members of society should be looking for ways to prevent them. The mentality of after-the-fact condemnation cannot save lives.
Reply:He is a loser and a retard. Killing innocent people during Christmas shopping. Kids these day are on too loose a leash. They need to learn about respect and morals. Feeling sorry for a murderer is twisted, those people need to get their heads checked.
those who gave a thumbs down for my answer. Your probably the reason why we get twisted individuals like this murderer. Get your damn heads checked.
Reply:Nope, he and he alone choose to shoot those people. He is not "an hero".
Reply:No, there's always people whining how their life is so hard. While they sit in their suburbian 2 parent home and cut themselves. Meanwhile, 10 year olds are forced to perform guerilla warfare with AK-47s in Sudan and aren't whining about sh*t.
Reply:f*ck 'em .. no sympathy for a killer.
Reply:i dont understand how ppl that are depressed think killing ppl before killing themselves is gonna help anything... he was probably depressed because he spent way to much time playing video games instead of socializing like normal ppl.
Reply:sounds like you could use some meds too
mens leather boots
How do I help my friend whose dad has commited suicide?
She wasnt my best friend, but still she was my friend... I have no idea what to do. dont know what to do... She wasnt my best friend, but she was an okay friend.... I dont know how to help. I just feel so helpless.... I am going to the funeral tommorow and I dont know what to expect.. or what to say... Do I send flowers? They are living in a hotel because they dont want to be at home so would flowers be a pain? Do I send them a sympathy card? Do they make cards that say
I am sorry that your dad was such a (colorfull adjective) that he left you, your siblings and your mother all alone so he could feel better? I want to give them space, but i want them to know that I am there for them. I have had people in my family try to kill themselves but they havent succeded and they werent my parents so I am clueless.
I know this isnt the right catagory but theres not really any right ones
How do I help my friend whose dad has commited suicide?
Just be there for her, listen when she wants to talk about it. A card would be thoughtful also. Check on her to see how she is coping after the funeral. Just let her know that you are sorry for her and will be there if she needs you.
Reply:The best thing you can do for her is be there for her. Maybe go for a visit and take her for a walk. Get her out of the cramped quarters of being in a hotel with her family. Don't be judgemental about what her father did, set your feelings aside. Let her talk about it, or not, whatever she is feeling like doing at the time. Walk to the park and just sit on the swings and swing together, my friends and I always had our best talks like that. Whatever you decided to do, I am sure she will be grateful you thought of her.
I had a roommate in college whose father committed suicide. I actually took the call from her uncle informing her of that fact. She said the best thing anybody could have done for her was when I gave her good long hug and didn't say a word.
Reply:oh man. thats a rough one. at the funeral give her a huge hug and make sure she knows she can cry. give her some flowers specifically for her and write her a really sweet note saying that you are always there if she needs to talk and give her all your information if she needs any help at all. good luck tomorrow.
%26lt;3
Reply:In a situation like this, saying nothing says it all. Just let your friend know you care, and if they ever want to talk, you will be there. If they ever want to cry, you will lend your shoulder. You can't say you know how it feels, cause you don't. You can't say things will be all right, cause you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. All you can do is say you will be there for him/her when they need you, and then be there when they call on you, or check on them every day. Take them their favorite snack, give them a hug, don't expect instant recovery, healing takes time. Just let them know you will be available any time they need you.
Reply:Just tell her that you are sorry for her loss and that if she ever needs a friend to talk to (and just listen, not talk if she does) that you are there for her anytime.
Don't bother with flowers or a card.... just a hug. A hug goes a long way.
I am sorry that your dad was such a (colorfull adjective) that he left you, your siblings and your mother all alone so he could feel better? I want to give them space, but i want them to know that I am there for them. I have had people in my family try to kill themselves but they havent succeded and they werent my parents so I am clueless.
I know this isnt the right catagory but theres not really any right ones
How do I help my friend whose dad has commited suicide?
Just be there for her, listen when she wants to talk about it. A card would be thoughtful also. Check on her to see how she is coping after the funeral. Just let her know that you are sorry for her and will be there if she needs you.
Reply:The best thing you can do for her is be there for her. Maybe go for a visit and take her for a walk. Get her out of the cramped quarters of being in a hotel with her family. Don't be judgemental about what her father did, set your feelings aside. Let her talk about it, or not, whatever she is feeling like doing at the time. Walk to the park and just sit on the swings and swing together, my friends and I always had our best talks like that. Whatever you decided to do, I am sure she will be grateful you thought of her.
I had a roommate in college whose father committed suicide. I actually took the call from her uncle informing her of that fact. She said the best thing anybody could have done for her was when I gave her good long hug and didn't say a word.
Reply:oh man. thats a rough one. at the funeral give her a huge hug and make sure she knows she can cry. give her some flowers specifically for her and write her a really sweet note saying that you are always there if she needs to talk and give her all your information if she needs any help at all. good luck tomorrow.
%26lt;3
Reply:In a situation like this, saying nothing says it all. Just let your friend know you care, and if they ever want to talk, you will be there. If they ever want to cry, you will lend your shoulder. You can't say you know how it feels, cause you don't. You can't say things will be all right, cause you don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. All you can do is say you will be there for him/her when they need you, and then be there when they call on you, or check on them every day. Take them their favorite snack, give them a hug, don't expect instant recovery, healing takes time. Just let them know you will be available any time they need you.
Reply:Just tell her that you are sorry for her loss and that if she ever needs a friend to talk to (and just listen, not talk if she does) that you are there for her anytime.
Don't bother with flowers or a card.... just a hug. A hug goes a long way.
Business Sympathy Card Letter?
I have to send flowers to a corporation we work with, one of their employees died. I also have to send flowers on behalf of another group my boss is chairing. I am sending these to a group of people in care of one person. What the heck do i say? This seems like it should be simple...how do i address a group of employess, seems weird to say Dear (insert company name) Do I have to address them or can i jsut put:
Our deepest sympathies are with you at this time.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you,
(company name)
Business Sympathy Card Letter?
Yes, just put that, keep it general.
Our deepest sympathies are with you at this time.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you,
(company name)
Business Sympathy Card Letter?
Yes, just put that, keep it general.
Appropriate expression of Sympathy?
A friend of mine passed away Friday night. She had three grown daughters, one of which, is also a friend (not a close friend, but a friend nevertheless) At any rate, both she and her daughter belonged to the Baha'i Faith. I know NOTHING about this religion....I don't know what they believe, what their practices are, etc. I don't know if they believe in the same God that I do. I want to send a Sympathy card, but want to send one that is appropriate and will not offend her daughter (religion-wise) Also, is it inappropriate to send flowers? Can anyone help me with this? If you know anything about this faith I would be very interested to learn a few things about it. Thanks
Appropriate expression of Sympathy?
A few years back, when I was a student, I covered a meeting of the University Bahai group for the newspaper. They proved to be the MOST lovely, sensitive, warm group of people. I'm sure that any genuine expression of sympathy and support will be most welcomed by them.
As long as you are being sincere, and it really sounds as though you are, then that's all that matters - the exact wording etc won't matter.
Reply:Send flowers, send a card expressing your care and love... no one could possibly be offended by that... they are alot like Universalists...
Reply:Baha'i is a collaberation of Judaism, Christianity and Islam. They believe in all the prophets of like every religion, and definitely believe in the same God you do.
Reply:I know nothing of baha'i... but I do know that being available for a hug, and to honestly listen without judgment is the greatest gift you can give to someone who is grieving.
edit - you can find some info at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bah%C3%A1'%...
they seem reasonable folk to deal with.
Reply:I would just write a short note and let her know that you are thinking of her and are there if she wants to talk.
Reply:I dont think that the bahai would object to anything you felt you needed to send. My understanding is that they are tolerant to any religion.
Reply:I don't know about it, but a generic type of card, saying I wish to express my sympathy should be good for any faith. No matter what the belief, people grieve over the loss of loved ones.
Reply:Precious one - please allow me to first express my sympathy to YOUR loss. I am so deeply sorry to learn you have lost a friend.
I cannot help you with their faith system, as I am Christian... but I know that all dear peoples appreciate the heartfelt words of a friend who shares in their deep grief.
I pray that you - as they - are able to find comfort in this difficult time, dear one.
Peace.
Reply:A simple: "May God be of comfort to you in this time of grief", would be welcome I'm sure. I know of no prohibition in Bahai againse flowers, so by all means send them. The Bahai tend to be very tolerant and easy going, so even if there is some stricture in Bahai against flowers, they will still appreciate the gesture coming from you.
Appropriate expression of Sympathy?
A few years back, when I was a student, I covered a meeting of the University Bahai group for the newspaper. They proved to be the MOST lovely, sensitive, warm group of people. I'm sure that any genuine expression of sympathy and support will be most welcomed by them.
As long as you are being sincere, and it really sounds as though you are, then that's all that matters - the exact wording etc won't matter.
Reply:Send flowers, send a card expressing your care and love... no one could possibly be offended by that... they are alot like Universalists...
Reply:Baha'i is a collaberation of Judaism, Christianity and Islam. They believe in all the prophets of like every religion, and definitely believe in the same God you do.
Reply:I know nothing of baha'i... but I do know that being available for a hug, and to honestly listen without judgment is the greatest gift you can give to someone who is grieving.
edit - you can find some info at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bah%C3%A1'%...
they seem reasonable folk to deal with.
Reply:I would just write a short note and let her know that you are thinking of her and are there if she wants to talk.
Reply:I dont think that the bahai would object to anything you felt you needed to send. My understanding is that they are tolerant to any religion.
Reply:I don't know about it, but a generic type of card, saying I wish to express my sympathy should be good for any faith. No matter what the belief, people grieve over the loss of loved ones.
Reply:Precious one - please allow me to first express my sympathy to YOUR loss. I am so deeply sorry to learn you have lost a friend.
I cannot help you with their faith system, as I am Christian... but I know that all dear peoples appreciate the heartfelt words of a friend who shares in their deep grief.
I pray that you - as they - are able to find comfort in this difficult time, dear one.
Peace.
Reply:A simple: "May God be of comfort to you in this time of grief", would be welcome I'm sure. I know of no prohibition in Bahai againse flowers, so by all means send them. The Bahai tend to be very tolerant and easy going, so even if there is some stricture in Bahai against flowers, they will still appreciate the gesture coming from you.
Sympathy gifts for a teenage boy?
my friends little sister just died and as a class we thought it'd be appropriate to get our friend somethig to show our sympathies.. he is a HUGE hockey fan.. game geek, loves to read etc.. we dont' want him to get flowers or anything like that beucase we want to show we actually thought about it and put effort into it
Sympathy gifts for a teenage boy?
Instead of buy him something, make a donation to a local charity in honor of his sister.
Reply:maybe like you can get him a jersey of his fav team or something?
Reply:Try a hockey jersey, some good chocolates and other goodies, and some good reading material (something funny, like comic books or funny authors). That way, he has something he likes, some junk food because he might not feel like eating, and some reading material that makes him laugh a little.
Reply:get him world of warcraft .. his fave teams shirt ... and some books ... also some cologne
Reply:Well, defenitly get a card for everyone to sign -- maybe not a sympathy one, because those tend to get girly. Maybe just a there-for-you kind of card, that is funny at the same time. For a gift, maybe a gift card, or a special piece of memrobeilia from his favorite team. Or maybe a coffee table book about hockey or something. It depends on how much you are going to have to spend. Good luck -- and remember, the best gift is to just be there for him.
coach fur boots
Sympathy gifts for a teenage boy?
Instead of buy him something, make a donation to a local charity in honor of his sister.
Reply:maybe like you can get him a jersey of his fav team or something?
Reply:Try a hockey jersey, some good chocolates and other goodies, and some good reading material (something funny, like comic books or funny authors). That way, he has something he likes, some junk food because he might not feel like eating, and some reading material that makes him laugh a little.
Reply:get him world of warcraft .. his fave teams shirt ... and some books ... also some cologne
Reply:Well, defenitly get a card for everyone to sign -- maybe not a sympathy one, because those tend to get girly. Maybe just a there-for-you kind of card, that is funny at the same time. For a gift, maybe a gift card, or a special piece of memrobeilia from his favorite team. Or maybe a coffee table book about hockey or something. It depends on how much you are going to have to spend. Good luck -- and remember, the best gift is to just be there for him.
coach fur boots
Etiquette question, thank you notes, funeral flowers,food, etc.?
we had a death in the family. some thank you notes need to be sent. i know notes are sent for people giving flowers and food. what about for people who send sympathy cards? are thank you notes supposed to be sent to them? i assume , no. is this correct?
Etiquette question, thank you notes, funeral flowers,food, etc.?
Write an ad in the local paper thanking everyone for their sympathy and kindness. You were very thoughtful to send notes to those who sent food and flowers and I'm sure you thanked them at the time. People love to give their support and do not want any thank you for it because we all know what its like to lose a loved one.
Reply:I'd write: I appreciate your affection towards our familie's loss
Reply:Thank you notes are for common courtesy. If you do not want to send out a thank you card to those who sent cards then, why don't you just call them and give them a personal Thank you.
Reply:you should acknowledge anything nice that was done for you by anyone. You should send to everyone attending the funeral and/or wake. It can be a chore but people will undersand if it takes you a bit to get them out.
Reply:I don't know the formality, but if I were to send a card, I wouldn't expect a thank you note.
Reply:thank you notes for flowers, food, and cards are appropriate. Just be kind,
"thank you for the card you sent, i appreciate you support" something like that is appropriate.
Reply:Not for the cards, unless they had a contribution in them. The ad in the paper answer is a good one, if there were a very large number of folks who attended the service. God Bless You, my condolences to your family.
Reply:You don't have to send a thank you note for a sympathy card. But if they wrote something personal/supportive inside you may want to send one. It need not be elaborate or lengthy at all. The newspaper idea is good to. That way it will cover everyone who sent cards and notes of sympathy without you having to send dozens of thank yous. Personally, when I send a letter of condolence, I do not expect a thank you since that is usually the last thing you want to do after losing a loved one. You might just thank them in person when you see them and save yourself the trouble.
Reply:The people that sent you the cards obviously took the time to send the cards, there for you need to take the time to thank them for their sympathy in your time of need.
Etiquette question, thank you notes, funeral flowers,food, etc.?
Write an ad in the local paper thanking everyone for their sympathy and kindness. You were very thoughtful to send notes to those who sent food and flowers and I'm sure you thanked them at the time. People love to give their support and do not want any thank you for it because we all know what its like to lose a loved one.
Reply:I'd write: I appreciate your affection towards our familie's loss
Reply:Thank you notes are for common courtesy. If you do not want to send out a thank you card to those who sent cards then, why don't you just call them and give them a personal Thank you.
Reply:you should acknowledge anything nice that was done for you by anyone. You should send to everyone attending the funeral and/or wake. It can be a chore but people will undersand if it takes you a bit to get them out.
Reply:I don't know the formality, but if I were to send a card, I wouldn't expect a thank you note.
Reply:thank you notes for flowers, food, and cards are appropriate. Just be kind,
"thank you for the card you sent, i appreciate you support" something like that is appropriate.
Reply:Not for the cards, unless they had a contribution in them. The ad in the paper answer is a good one, if there were a very large number of folks who attended the service. God Bless You, my condolences to your family.
Reply:You don't have to send a thank you note for a sympathy card. But if they wrote something personal/supportive inside you may want to send one. It need not be elaborate or lengthy at all. The newspaper idea is good to. That way it will cover everyone who sent cards and notes of sympathy without you having to send dozens of thank yous. Personally, when I send a letter of condolence, I do not expect a thank you since that is usually the last thing you want to do after losing a loved one. You might just thank them in person when you see them and save yourself the trouble.
Reply:The people that sent you the cards obviously took the time to send the cards, there for you need to take the time to thank them for their sympathy in your time of need.
Can someone help me answer these questions about the scarlet letter?
Chapter 1
1. Describe the story’s setting.
2. Since Hawthorne has described a prison, a cemetery, ugly weeds and a wild
rosebush, what do you think the story will be about?
3. What do you expect the mood of the novel will be?
Chapter 2
1. What is Hester’s sin?
2. What is the public view, expressed by women outside the prison, of
Hester’s sin?
3. By including the comments of the women, what do you think Hawthorne is
suggesting about this society?
4. What is Hester’s punishment?
Chapter 3
1. As she stands on the scaffold, who appears in the crowd and what is
Hester’s reaction?
2. Where has Chillingworth been? What motion does he make to Hester and why?
3. Who is Dimmesdale?
4. What appeal does Dimmesdale use to convince Hester to reveal the baby’s
father? Do you agree with him?
5. What is Hester’s attitude toward both her sin and her punishment?
6. One way Hester endures her punishment is by dreaming of her past. What
does the reader learn of Hester’s past by this flashback?
Chapter 4
1. Why does Hester fear Chillingworth?
2. What is Chillingworth’s attitude toward Hester? Explain.
3. What does Chillingworth intend to do? Why?
4. What does Chillingworth ask Hester to promise? Why does she agree to
this?
5. Hester says to Chillingworth, “Thy acts like mercy,…But thy words
interpret thee as a terror!” What does she mean? What has Chillingworth
said that gives her that impression?
6. What descriptive details does Hawthorne give the reader about
Chillingworth that reinforce the image of him as someone to be feared?
7. What is implied in Chillingworth’s last line, “No, not thine”?
Chapter 5
1. In this chapter the narrator summarizes months of Hester’s life.
Describe Hester’s life. How does she earn a living” How is she treated?
2. Give two reasons why Hester decides to remain in Boston when she could
have easily moved to a less restrictive colony?
3. Explain Hester’s reaction to the insults she receives.
4. How has Hester changed?
5. Explain the significance of the position of Hester’s home.
6. In your opinion, why do people allow Hester to sew for them?
Chapter 6
1. Describe Pearl.
2. How does Hawthorne say Pearl’s “uncontrollable” behavior can be explained?
3. As Hawthorne puts it, explain the ambiguity concerning Pearl.
4. Why does Hester ask Pearl, “Art thou my child?”
5. According to Hawthorne, what purpose does Pearl have in respect to
Hester’s destiny?
6. How is an actual pearl created in nature? How is Pearl’s name symbolic?
Chapter 7
1. Why does Hester go to the governor’s house?
2. How is Pearl dressed, and what is her dress compared to?
3. How does the incident with the breastplate further develop the
symbolism?
Chapter 8
1. Consider the descriptions of the governor’s house. What is Hawthorne
suggesting about the governor?
2. How do the magistrates react to Pearl? Why?
3. How does Hester behave towards the magistrate? Why?
4. Why is Hester able to keep Pearl? What are the arguments that convince
the magistrates?
5. A) What is Pearl’s response when asked by the governor, Who made thee,
child?”
B) What prompts Pearl’s answer? What symbolism is developed here?
6. What happens at the end of the chapter that illustrates the minister’s
point?
7. Describe how Dimmesdale has changed.
8. Describe how Chillingworth has changed.
9. What twofold role does Reverend Dimmesdale say Pearl plays?
Chapter 9
1. Hawthorne uses the “either/or” device as an explanation of the minister’s
health. Give both explanations.
2. A) Why does Dimmesdale reject the offer of help?
B) What finally persuades him to accept the offer?
3. Explain the title of this chapter, “The Leech.” What is the twofold
meaning?
4. Describe Chillingworth’s method of approaching an illness that he is to
treat.
5. Describe the relationship between Dimmesdale and Chillingworth.
6. Although some people in the community feel that God has sent
Chillingworth to heal their minister, other people have a different view.
Explain the second view and the basis for this idea of Chillingworth.
7. Give an interpretation for the last and the next to the last paragraph in
this
chapter.
Chapter 10
1. What action of Dimmesdale’s suggests that he is hiding something on his
chest?
2. How do the black flowers initiate a discussion on “hidden sins”?
3. What explanation, perhaps rationalization, does Dimmesdale offer for not
confessing and thereby revealing a hidden sin?
4. In this context, what does Chillingworth mean when he mutters, “A strange
sympathy betwixt soul and body! Were it only for the art’s sake I must
search
this matter to the bottom!”?
5. A) What does Chillingworth do while Dimmesdale sleeps? Symbolically,
what has Chillingworth done to Dimmesdale?
B) What do you think Chillingworth sees in/on Dimmesdale?
C) Describe Chillingworth’s reaction to what he sees. Why do you think
he reacts this way? What is Hawthorne suggesting about him?
Chapter 11
1. Explain the narrator’s statement, “He [Chillingworth] became not a
spectator only, but a chief actor, in the poor minister’s interior world.”
2. What makes Dimmesdale such a good minister?
3. What is ironic about Dimmesdale’s public assertions of his guilt?
4. Explain the ways Dimmesdale tortures himself and is responsible for his
own suffering.
5. A) In what way are both Chillingworth and Dimmesdale to be pitied?
B) Whom do you pity most? Why?
6. What is Hawthorne suggesting about the effects of sin?
Chapter 12
1. The second scaffold scene in the book occurs here. Critics consider this
part as, “Hawthorne at his best.” Why is Dimmesdale on the scaffold? Why
does he climb the scaffold at night? What do we learn is the source of his
chest pain?
2. According to critics, Hawthorne, as an artist of the psychological, has
Dimmesdale express his subconscious feelings. Describe what Hawthorne
has Dimmesdale do that suggests his subconscious mind.
3. Why are there so many of the other characters walking around so late at
night?
4. How does Dimmesdale feel as he holds Pearl’s hand? Why?
5. Why does Pearl pull away from Dimmesdale?
6. Describe the two seemingly supernatural occurrences. What effect do
they have?
7. How is the symbolism of the letter “A” continued?
8. How does Dimmesdale behave the next day?
Chapter 13
(This chapter, which follows the dramatic intensity of the previous one, is
in the form of a summary by the narrator. Pearl is now seven years old.)
1. What is the reader told about Hester’s position in the community?
2. How is the letter being interpreted?
3. How does Hester compare to her partner in sin?
4. Why, according to the narrator, has her natural beauty diminished? What
could bring it back?
5. What question does Hawthorne raise about love and Hester?
6. In what way is Hester an emancipated feminist?
7. Explain: “It is remarkable, that persons who speculate the most boldly
often conform with the most perfect quietude to the external regulations of
society. The thought suffices them…”
8. Has the scarlet letter done to Hester what the Puritans wanted it to?
Explain the irony.
9. In the last page of the chapter, which returns to the plot, what does
Hester
resolve to do? Why?
Chapter 14
1. In what way does Chillingworth look like the devil? Why?
2. Why does Chillingworth think he has a double reason for punishing
Dimmesdale?
3. What pleas of Hester’s arouse sympathy and admiration in Chillingworth?
4. What does Hester ask of Chillingworth? What is his response?
5. Do you think Hawthorne meant for the reader to see Chillingworth as “the
devil”? Explain.
Chapter 15
1. After Hester leaves Chillingworth, the narrator follows Hester’s
thoughts. How does she feel about Chillingworth? Explain.
2. The narrator asks, “Had seven long years, under the torture of the
scarlet letter, inflicted so much of misery, and wrought out no
repentance?” In your opinion, has Hester repented her sin?
3. What has Pearl been doing? How does this show that she is like her
mother?
4. How does Pearl answer her mother’s questions as to why she wears the
letter?
5. When Pearl repeatedly asks her mother about the meaning of the “A,” why,
in your opinion, doesn’t Hester confide in Pearl?
Chapter 16
1. A) Why has Hester taken Pearl and gone into the forest? How does she
feel?
B) How does the atmosphere in the forest reflect her mood?
2. As Hester and Pearl walk into the forest, Hawthorne develops many of his
images. Explain the following:
sunlight and darkness
the pathway
the mark of the “Black Man”
the sorrow of the brook
3. In what way does Hester acknowledge her sin to Pearl?
Chapter 17
1. How does Hawthorne reinforce his theme of hidden sin once again?
2. Describe Dimmesdale’s reaction when Hester forces herself to tell him
who Chillingworth is.
3. A) Why does Dimmesdale forgive Hester?
B) According to Dimmesdale, who is the one worse than “the polluted
priest”? Why?
4. What “new horror” occurs to Dimmesdale?
5. Explain Hester’s statement to Dimmesdale, “Wilt thou die for very
weakness?”
6. A) What does Hester give Dimmesdale?
B) What is suggested in the last two lines?
Chapter 18
1. What contrast does the narrator point out between Hester and Dimmisdale?
2. Why does Dimmesdale “resolve to flee, and not alone”?
3. A) Describe the “exhilarating effect” of this decision on Hester and
Dimmesdale.
B) How does Hawthorne use symbolism to reinforce this effect?
4. How does Hawthorne reinforce his idea that “Nature,…never subjugated by
human law,” was in sympathy with the union of Hester and Dimmesdale?
5. What idea is suggested by Pearl’s slow approach and Dimmesdale’s fear of
Pearl?
Chapter 19
1. Why does Pear “burst into a fit of passion” when she stands across the
brook from her mother?
2. How has Hawthorne used the symbol of the scarlet letter again?
3. How does Pearl react to her mother’s assertion that Dimmesdale loves them?
4. How does Pearl behave toward the minister? How can this be explained?
Chapter 20
1. Describe the minister’s wicked impulses as he returns to town.
2. On a psychological level, what is Hawthorne suggesting about
Dimmesdale’s subconscious mind?
3. What does Dimmesdale wonder?
4. Do you think Dimmesdale has committed a “deadly sin” by planning to
escape with
Hester?
Chapter 21
1. In this chapter Hawthorne makes frequent mention of the colors gray,
black (sable), and brown. What is he suggesting with his emphasis on those
colors?
2. What bad news does Hester learn from the ship captain?
3. In addition to providing more information, what other purpose does this
chapter serve?
4. How does Pearl’s comment on the bahavior of Reverend Dimmesdale further
point out the light / darkness contrast?
5. What do the darkness and the light symbolize?
Chapter 22
1. Explain three things that depress Hester in this chapter.
2. What is different about Dimmesdale?
3. Again, what does Pearl want from Dimmesdale?
4. Why does Hawthorne end this chapter with the remarks, “The sainted
minister in the church! The woman of the scarlet letter in the market-place!”
Chapter 23
1. When this chapter opens, why does Dimmesdale stand “on the very proudest
eminence of superiority . . .”? (How has he moved his people?)
2. As Dimmesdale leaves the church and approaches Hester, what does he do?
3. What is Chillingworth’s reaction? Explain Chillingworth’s statement, “[t]
here was no one place . . . thou couldst have escaped me; save on this very
scaffold!”
4. What does Hester answer when Dimmesdale says, “Is not this better…than
what we dreamed of in the forest?”
5. What is Dimmesdale’s most dramatic revelation to “the people of New
England”?
6. What does Dimmesdale ask Pearl? What effect does this have on Pearl?
7. How do you explain Dimmesdale’s parting words to Hester?
Chapter 24
1. What theories does Hawthorne offer the reader about the scarlet letter
imprinted in the minister’s flesh?
2. A) What happens to Chillingworth?
B) What does he give Pearl?
3. What, as far as the narrator knows, becomes of Pearl?
4. Finally, explain Hawthorne’s conclusion for Heste
Can someone help me answer these questions about the scarlet letter?
The Scarlet Letter opens with an expectant crowd standing in front of a Boston prison in the early 1640s. When the prison door opens, a young woman named Hester Prynne emerges, with a baby in her arms, and a scarlet letter "A" richly embroidered on her breast. For her crime of adultery, to which both the baby and the letter attest, she must proceed to the scaffold and stand for judgment by her community.
While on the scaffold, Hester remembers her past. In particular, she remembers the face of a "misshapen" man, "well stricken in years," with the face of a scholar. At this moment, the narrator introduces an aged and misshapen character, who has been living "in bonds" with "Indian" captors. He asks a bystander why Hester is on the scaffold. The brief story is told: two years earlier, Hester had preceded her husband to New England. Her husband never arrived. In the meantime, she bore a child; the father of the infant has not come forward. As this stranger stares at Hester, she stares back: a mutual recognition passes between them.
On the scaffold, Boston's highest clergyman, John Wilson, and Hester's own pastor, Rev. Dimmesdale, each ask her to reveal the name of her partner in crime. Reverend Dimmesdale makes a particularly powerful address, urging her not to tempt the man to lead a life of sinful hypocrisy by leaving his identity unnamed. Hester refuses.
After the ordeal of her public judgment, the misshapen man from the marketplaceher long lost husbandvisits her, taking the name Roger Chillingworth. When she refuses to identify the father of her child, he vows to discover him and take revenge. He makes Hester swear to keep his identity a secret.
Hester Prynne : Hester Prynne is the central and most important character in The Scarlet Letter. Hester was married to Roger Chillingworth while living in England and, later, Amsterdama city to which many English Puritans moved for religious freedom. Hester preceded her husband to New England, as he had business matters to settle in Amsterdam, and after approximately two years in America she committed adultery with the Reverend Arthur Dimmesdale.
The novel begins as Hester nears the end of her prison term for adultery. While adultery was considered a grave threat to the Puritan community, such that death was considered a just punishment, the Puritan authorities weighed the long absence and possible death of her husband in their sentence. Thus, they settled on the punishment of permanent public humiliation and moral example: Hester was to forever wear the scarlet letter A on the bodice of her clothing.
While seemingly free to leave the community and even America at her will, Hester chooses to stay. As the narrator puts it, "Here, she said to herself, had been the scene of her guilt, and here should be the scene of her earthly punishment; and so, perchance, the torture of her daily shame would at length purge her soul." According to this reasoning, Hester assumes her residence in a small abandoned cottage on the outskirts of the community.
While the novel is, in large part, a record of the torment Hester suffers under the burden of her symbol of shame, eventually, after the implied marriage of her daughter Pearl and the death of Chillingworth and Dimmesdale, Hester becomes an accepted and even a highly valued member of the community. Instead of being a symbol of scorn, Hester, and the letter A, according to the narrator, "became a type of something to be sorrowed over, and looked upon with awe, yet with reverence too." The people of the community even come to Hester for comfort and counsel in times of trouble and sorrow because they trust her to offer unselfish advice toward the resolution of upsetting conflict. Thus, in the end, Hester becomes an important figure in preserving the peace and stability of the community
Reply:Matthew, Matthew....read the book! It's not very long...you can do it!
Reply:he he. you actually got someone to answer it for u! job well done.
Reply:do your own homework
1. Describe the story’s setting.
2. Since Hawthorne has described a prison, a cemetery, ugly weeds and a wild
rosebush, what do you think the story will be about?
3. What do you expect the mood of the novel will be?
Chapter 2
1. What is Hester’s sin?
2. What is the public view, expressed by women outside the prison, of
Hester’s sin?
3. By including the comments of the women, what do you think Hawthorne is
suggesting about this society?
4. What is Hester’s punishment?
Chapter 3
1. As she stands on the scaffold, who appears in the crowd and what is
Hester’s reaction?
2. Where has Chillingworth been? What motion does he make to Hester and why?
3. Who is Dimmesdale?
4. What appeal does Dimmesdale use to convince Hester to reveal the baby’s
father? Do you agree with him?
5. What is Hester’s attitude toward both her sin and her punishment?
6. One way Hester endures her punishment is by dreaming of her past. What
does the reader learn of Hester’s past by this flashback?
Chapter 4
1. Why does Hester fear Chillingworth?
2. What is Chillingworth’s attitude toward Hester? Explain.
3. What does Chillingworth intend to do? Why?
4. What does Chillingworth ask Hester to promise? Why does she agree to
this?
5. Hester says to Chillingworth, “Thy acts like mercy,…But thy words
interpret thee as a terror!” What does she mean? What has Chillingworth
said that gives her that impression?
6. What descriptive details does Hawthorne give the reader about
Chillingworth that reinforce the image of him as someone to be feared?
7. What is implied in Chillingworth’s last line, “No, not thine”?
Chapter 5
1. In this chapter the narrator summarizes months of Hester’s life.
Describe Hester’s life. How does she earn a living” How is she treated?
2. Give two reasons why Hester decides to remain in Boston when she could
have easily moved to a less restrictive colony?
3. Explain Hester’s reaction to the insults she receives.
4. How has Hester changed?
5. Explain the significance of the position of Hester’s home.
6. In your opinion, why do people allow Hester to sew for them?
Chapter 6
1. Describe Pearl.
2. How does Hawthorne say Pearl’s “uncontrollable” behavior can be explained?
3. As Hawthorne puts it, explain the ambiguity concerning Pearl.
4. Why does Hester ask Pearl, “Art thou my child?”
5. According to Hawthorne, what purpose does Pearl have in respect to
Hester’s destiny?
6. How is an actual pearl created in nature? How is Pearl’s name symbolic?
Chapter 7
1. Why does Hester go to the governor’s house?
2. How is Pearl dressed, and what is her dress compared to?
3. How does the incident with the breastplate further develop the
symbolism?
Chapter 8
1. Consider the descriptions of the governor’s house. What is Hawthorne
suggesting about the governor?
2. How do the magistrates react to Pearl? Why?
3. How does Hester behave towards the magistrate? Why?
4. Why is Hester able to keep Pearl? What are the arguments that convince
the magistrates?
5. A) What is Pearl’s response when asked by the governor, Who made thee,
child?”
B) What prompts Pearl’s answer? What symbolism is developed here?
6. What happens at the end of the chapter that illustrates the minister’s
point?
7. Describe how Dimmesdale has changed.
8. Describe how Chillingworth has changed.
9. What twofold role does Reverend Dimmesdale say Pearl plays?
Chapter 9
1. Hawthorne uses the “either/or” device as an explanation of the minister’s
health. Give both explanations.
2. A) Why does Dimmesdale reject the offer of help?
B) What finally persuades him to accept the offer?
3. Explain the title of this chapter, “The Leech.” What is the twofold
meaning?
4. Describe Chillingworth’s method of approaching an illness that he is to
treat.
5. Describe the relationship between Dimmesdale and Chillingworth.
6. Although some people in the community feel that God has sent
Chillingworth to heal their minister, other people have a different view.
Explain the second view and the basis for this idea of Chillingworth.
7. Give an interpretation for the last and the next to the last paragraph in
this
chapter.
Chapter 10
1. What action of Dimmesdale’s suggests that he is hiding something on his
chest?
2. How do the black flowers initiate a discussion on “hidden sins”?
3. What explanation, perhaps rationalization, does Dimmesdale offer for not
confessing and thereby revealing a hidden sin?
4. In this context, what does Chillingworth mean when he mutters, “A strange
sympathy betwixt soul and body! Were it only for the art’s sake I must
search
this matter to the bottom!”?
5. A) What does Chillingworth do while Dimmesdale sleeps? Symbolically,
what has Chillingworth done to Dimmesdale?
B) What do you think Chillingworth sees in/on Dimmesdale?
C) Describe Chillingworth’s reaction to what he sees. Why do you think
he reacts this way? What is Hawthorne suggesting about him?
Chapter 11
1. Explain the narrator’s statement, “He [Chillingworth] became not a
spectator only, but a chief actor, in the poor minister’s interior world.”
2. What makes Dimmesdale such a good minister?
3. What is ironic about Dimmesdale’s public assertions of his guilt?
4. Explain the ways Dimmesdale tortures himself and is responsible for his
own suffering.
5. A) In what way are both Chillingworth and Dimmesdale to be pitied?
B) Whom do you pity most? Why?
6. What is Hawthorne suggesting about the effects of sin?
Chapter 12
1. The second scaffold scene in the book occurs here. Critics consider this
part as, “Hawthorne at his best.” Why is Dimmesdale on the scaffold? Why
does he climb the scaffold at night? What do we learn is the source of his
chest pain?
2. According to critics, Hawthorne, as an artist of the psychological, has
Dimmesdale express his subconscious feelings. Describe what Hawthorne
has Dimmesdale do that suggests his subconscious mind.
3. Why are there so many of the other characters walking around so late at
night?
4. How does Dimmesdale feel as he holds Pearl’s hand? Why?
5. Why does Pearl pull away from Dimmesdale?
6. Describe the two seemingly supernatural occurrences. What effect do
they have?
7. How is the symbolism of the letter “A” continued?
8. How does Dimmesdale behave the next day?
Chapter 13
(This chapter, which follows the dramatic intensity of the previous one, is
in the form of a summary by the narrator. Pearl is now seven years old.)
1. What is the reader told about Hester’s position in the community?
2. How is the letter being interpreted?
3. How does Hester compare to her partner in sin?
4. Why, according to the narrator, has her natural beauty diminished? What
could bring it back?
5. What question does Hawthorne raise about love and Hester?
6. In what way is Hester an emancipated feminist?
7. Explain: “It is remarkable, that persons who speculate the most boldly
often conform with the most perfect quietude to the external regulations of
society. The thought suffices them…”
8. Has the scarlet letter done to Hester what the Puritans wanted it to?
Explain the irony.
9. In the last page of the chapter, which returns to the plot, what does
Hester
resolve to do? Why?
Chapter 14
1. In what way does Chillingworth look like the devil? Why?
2. Why does Chillingworth think he has a double reason for punishing
Dimmesdale?
3. What pleas of Hester’s arouse sympathy and admiration in Chillingworth?
4. What does Hester ask of Chillingworth? What is his response?
5. Do you think Hawthorne meant for the reader to see Chillingworth as “the
devil”? Explain.
Chapter 15
1. After Hester leaves Chillingworth, the narrator follows Hester’s
thoughts. How does she feel about Chillingworth? Explain.
2. The narrator asks, “Had seven long years, under the torture of the
scarlet letter, inflicted so much of misery, and wrought out no
repentance?” In your opinion, has Hester repented her sin?
3. What has Pearl been doing? How does this show that she is like her
mother?
4. How does Pearl answer her mother’s questions as to why she wears the
letter?
5. When Pearl repeatedly asks her mother about the meaning of the “A,” why,
in your opinion, doesn’t Hester confide in Pearl?
Chapter 16
1. A) Why has Hester taken Pearl and gone into the forest? How does she
feel?
B) How does the atmosphere in the forest reflect her mood?
2. As Hester and Pearl walk into the forest, Hawthorne develops many of his
images. Explain the following:
sunlight and darkness
the pathway
the mark of the “Black Man”
the sorrow of the brook
3. In what way does Hester acknowledge her sin to Pearl?
Chapter 17
1. How does Hawthorne reinforce his theme of hidden sin once again?
2. Describe Dimmesdale’s reaction when Hester forces herself to tell him
who Chillingworth is.
3. A) Why does Dimmesdale forgive Hester?
B) According to Dimmesdale, who is the one worse than “the polluted
priest”? Why?
4. What “new horror” occurs to Dimmesdale?
5. Explain Hester’s statement to Dimmesdale, “Wilt thou die for very
weakness?”
6. A) What does Hester give Dimmesdale?
B) What is suggested in the last two lines?
Chapter 18
1. What contrast does the narrator point out between Hester and Dimmisdale?
2. Why does Dimmesdale “resolve to flee, and not alone”?
3. A) Describe the “exhilarating effect” of this decision on Hester and
Dimmesdale.
B) How does Hawthorne use symbolism to reinforce this effect?
4. How does Hawthorne reinforce his idea that “Nature,…never subjugated by
human law,” was in sympathy with the union of Hester and Dimmesdale?
5. What idea is suggested by Pearl’s slow approach and Dimmesdale’s fear of
Pearl?
Chapter 19
1. Why does Pear “burst into a fit of passion” when she stands across the
brook from her mother?
2. How has Hawthorne used the symbol of the scarlet letter again?
3. How does Pearl react to her mother’s assertion that Dimmesdale loves them?
4. How does Pearl behave toward the minister? How can this be explained?
Chapter 20
1. Describe the minister’s wicked impulses as he returns to town.
2. On a psychological level, what is Hawthorne suggesting about
Dimmesdale’s subconscious mind?
3. What does Dimmesdale wonder?
4. Do you think Dimmesdale has committed a “deadly sin” by planning to
escape with
Hester?
Chapter 21
1. In this chapter Hawthorne makes frequent mention of the colors gray,
black (sable), and brown. What is he suggesting with his emphasis on those
colors?
2. What bad news does Hester learn from the ship captain?
3. In addition to providing more information, what other purpose does this
chapter serve?
4. How does Pearl’s comment on the bahavior of Reverend Dimmesdale further
point out the light / darkness contrast?
5. What do the darkness and the light symbolize?
Chapter 22
1. Explain three things that depress Hester in this chapter.
2. What is different about Dimmesdale?
3. Again, what does Pearl want from Dimmesdale?
4. Why does Hawthorne end this chapter with the remarks, “The sainted
minister in the church! The woman of the scarlet letter in the market-place!”
Chapter 23
1. When this chapter opens, why does Dimmesdale stand “on the very proudest
eminence of superiority . . .”? (How has he moved his people?)
2. As Dimmesdale leaves the church and approaches Hester, what does he do?
3. What is Chillingworth’s reaction? Explain Chillingworth’s statement, “[t]
here was no one place . . . thou couldst have escaped me; save on this very
scaffold!”
4. What does Hester answer when Dimmesdale says, “Is not this better…than
what we dreamed of in the forest?”
5. What is Dimmesdale’s most dramatic revelation to “the people of New
England”?
6. What does Dimmesdale ask Pearl? What effect does this have on Pearl?
7. How do you explain Dimmesdale’s parting words to Hester?
Chapter 24
1. What theories does Hawthorne offer the reader about the scarlet letter
imprinted in the minister’s flesh?
2. A) What happens to Chillingworth?
B) What does he give Pearl?
3. What, as far as the narrator knows, becomes of Pearl?
4. Finally, explain Hawthorne’s conclusion for Heste
Can someone help me answer these questions about the scarlet letter?
The Scarlet Letter opens with an expectant crowd standing in front of a Boston prison in the early 1640s. When the prison door opens, a young woman named Hester Prynne emerges, with a baby in her arms, and a scarlet letter "A" richly embroidered on her breast. For her crime of adultery, to which both the baby and the letter attest, she must proceed to the scaffold and stand for judgment by her community.
While on the scaffold, Hester remembers her past. In particular, she remembers the face of a "misshapen" man, "well stricken in years," with the face of a scholar. At this moment, the narrator introduces an aged and misshapen character, who has been living "in bonds" with "Indian" captors. He asks a bystander why Hester is on the scaffold. The brief story is told: two years earlier, Hester had preceded her husband to New England. Her husband never arrived. In the meantime, she bore a child; the father of the infant has not come forward. As this stranger stares at Hester, she stares back: a mutual recognition passes between them.
On the scaffold, Boston's highest clergyman, John Wilson, and Hester's own pastor, Rev. Dimmesdale, each ask her to reveal the name of her partner in crime. Reverend Dimmesdale makes a particularly powerful address, urging her not to tempt the man to lead a life of sinful hypocrisy by leaving his identity unnamed. Hester refuses.
After the ordeal of her public judgment, the misshapen man from the marketplaceher long lost husbandvisits her, taking the name Roger Chillingworth. When she refuses to identify the father of her child, he vows to discover him and take revenge. He makes Hester swear to keep his identity a secret.
Hester Prynne : Hester Prynne is the central and most important character in The Scarlet Letter. Hester was married to Roger Chillingworth while living in England and, later, Amsterdama city to which many English Puritans moved for religious freedom. Hester preceded her husband to New England, as he had business matters to settle in Amsterdam, and after approximately two years in America she committed adultery with the Reverend Arthur Dimmesdale.
The novel begins as Hester nears the end of her prison term for adultery. While adultery was considered a grave threat to the Puritan community, such that death was considered a just punishment, the Puritan authorities weighed the long absence and possible death of her husband in their sentence. Thus, they settled on the punishment of permanent public humiliation and moral example: Hester was to forever wear the scarlet letter A on the bodice of her clothing.
While seemingly free to leave the community and even America at her will, Hester chooses to stay. As the narrator puts it, "Here, she said to herself, had been the scene of her guilt, and here should be the scene of her earthly punishment; and so, perchance, the torture of her daily shame would at length purge her soul." According to this reasoning, Hester assumes her residence in a small abandoned cottage on the outskirts of the community.
While the novel is, in large part, a record of the torment Hester suffers under the burden of her symbol of shame, eventually, after the implied marriage of her daughter Pearl and the death of Chillingworth and Dimmesdale, Hester becomes an accepted and even a highly valued member of the community. Instead of being a symbol of scorn, Hester, and the letter A, according to the narrator, "became a type of something to be sorrowed over, and looked upon with awe, yet with reverence too." The people of the community even come to Hester for comfort and counsel in times of trouble and sorrow because they trust her to offer unselfish advice toward the resolution of upsetting conflict. Thus, in the end, Hester becomes an important figure in preserving the peace and stability of the community
Reply:Matthew, Matthew....read the book! It's not very long...you can do it!
Reply:he he. you actually got someone to answer it for u! job well done.
Reply:do your own homework
What is the "congratulations" etiquette for premature babies?
I have a friend who just had premature twin girls. One weighs 1lb 13 oz, the other 1lb 9 1/4oz. They are on oxygen but breathing on their own. My husband and I want to call or send flowers, something, but we are unsure what to say to them. "Congratulations" seems unfeeling towards the seriousness of the girls situation but "we are here if you need anything" seems too much like we are sending sympathy their way. Any suggestions welcome.
What is the "congratulations" etiquette for premature babies?
Go to the hospital and scope out there needs, they will not be thinking of things "they" need. Only of the babies. They will be so crazy busy with doctors, nurses, and family and calls they will forget "they" need to eat. Bring a caraffe of juice instead of coffee, snacks they can woof down between nurses, a puzzle book for down time, comfortable blanket and small travel pillow instead of hospital garb. Think of things you would NEED if you were there and offer that. Give them your love, and care for them because they will be too busy caring for the twins. Give them gift certificates to local restaraunts, right there on the street, so they don't have to go far but maybe they'll get out of the hospital for a few minutes in a few days. Hope this helps, I know what I need in a crisis, i usually do that..........God's blessings on those girls and their parents.
Reply:I would give them congratulations as they are indeed the parents of 2 beautiful babies, also give them your best wishes and offer them your help in any way. My second baby died during birth and this was a great shock to everyone, no one knew what to say so said nothing, How I would have loved some baby cards to validate that he had been born and not just ignored as if he hadn't existed.
Reply:I'd probably say something like "Congratulations on your little miracles!" I think that acknowledges that the babies came into the world a little precariously but doesn't overlook that the birth is still a joyous event to be celebrated. I bet the parents look at them as exactly that, miracles.
Reply:You sound like a very good friend. If she is staying at the hospital, maybe a care package for the parents? Shampoo, soap, stuff they need but probably aren't thinking of to help them get through the hospital stay.
Reply:You could say both "congratulations" and "we are here if you need anything." The latter is not an offer of sympathy but rather an offer of support.
Hopefully, a year from now when the girls are running around energetically and tearing up the place, the parents will call you on this ("you said you were here if we needed anything; can you babysit next Saturday?"). Best wishes to all involved, especially you when you babysit and they tear up *your* place. 8-)
Reply:I would go ahead %26amp; send flowers saying "congratulations" as they did indeed just give birth to 2 beautiful little girls. Follow with a phone call (even leaving a message on the answering machine) saying if you need anything (transporation back %26amp; forth to the hospital after dad goes back to work, a meal prepared, etc) to call. It is truly a difficult situation but the babies may pull thru just fine %26amp; you don't want the parents to miss the "congratulations" just because the babies were premature.
Reply:go hug their mother. Tell her you are so gald that she and the babies are in as good a shape as they are. And do tell her how beautiful they are and do tell her that you are there if she needs you.
Reply:Yeah send a congratulations card. The babies will be fine I had a premature son he was 2lb and 10oz and he is fine now.
What is the "congratulations" etiquette for premature babies?
Go to the hospital and scope out there needs, they will not be thinking of things "they" need. Only of the babies. They will be so crazy busy with doctors, nurses, and family and calls they will forget "they" need to eat. Bring a caraffe of juice instead of coffee, snacks they can woof down between nurses, a puzzle book for down time, comfortable blanket and small travel pillow instead of hospital garb. Think of things you would NEED if you were there and offer that. Give them your love, and care for them because they will be too busy caring for the twins. Give them gift certificates to local restaraunts, right there on the street, so they don't have to go far but maybe they'll get out of the hospital for a few minutes in a few days. Hope this helps, I know what I need in a crisis, i usually do that..........God's blessings on those girls and their parents.
Reply:I would give them congratulations as they are indeed the parents of 2 beautiful babies, also give them your best wishes and offer them your help in any way. My second baby died during birth and this was a great shock to everyone, no one knew what to say so said nothing, How I would have loved some baby cards to validate that he had been born and not just ignored as if he hadn't existed.
Reply:I'd probably say something like "Congratulations on your little miracles!" I think that acknowledges that the babies came into the world a little precariously but doesn't overlook that the birth is still a joyous event to be celebrated. I bet the parents look at them as exactly that, miracles.
Reply:You sound like a very good friend. If she is staying at the hospital, maybe a care package for the parents? Shampoo, soap, stuff they need but probably aren't thinking of to help them get through the hospital stay.
Reply:You could say both "congratulations" and "we are here if you need anything." The latter is not an offer of sympathy but rather an offer of support.
Hopefully, a year from now when the girls are running around energetically and tearing up the place, the parents will call you on this ("you said you were here if we needed anything; can you babysit next Saturday?"). Best wishes to all involved, especially you when you babysit and they tear up *your* place. 8-)
Reply:I would go ahead %26amp; send flowers saying "congratulations" as they did indeed just give birth to 2 beautiful little girls. Follow with a phone call (even leaving a message on the answering machine) saying if you need anything (transporation back %26amp; forth to the hospital after dad goes back to work, a meal prepared, etc) to call. It is truly a difficult situation but the babies may pull thru just fine %26amp; you don't want the parents to miss the "congratulations" just because the babies were premature.
Reply:go hug their mother. Tell her you are so gald that she and the babies are in as good a shape as they are. And do tell her how beautiful they are and do tell her that you are there if she needs you.
Reply:Yeah send a congratulations card. The babies will be fine I had a premature son he was 2lb and 10oz and he is fine now.
Is this a good sympathy gift for my friend? Her mother just died?
My friend's mother just died...we have been working together a few years and she is basically like a mother to me. Me and my girlfriend are friends with her family but we never knew her mother. I was going to get them a Vermont Teddy Bear with a card saying "We are sorry for the loss of your loved one, keep this in her memory" Does that seem a bit over the top or no? For some reason it seems like a strange sympathy gift to me...but I didn't want to go with a generic fruit basket or flower arrangement...I wanted it to be something they could keep and remember. For me it just almost seems droll to give someone a gift that is like 'here is something to remind you that someone died'
Am I thinking too deeply about this? Any thoughts?
Is this a good sympathy gift for my friend? Her mother just died?
What matters is the note you write, on a card or letter, and the comfort you offer this person. I think you could even write "You have been like a mother to me" in your note and it would mean a lot. There should be no such thing as a sympathy gift-I agree it is just a reminder.
People gave my husband teddy bears when he had cancer and we were dumbfounded, although we appreciated the thought. Teddy bears for a 40 year old man? Reminders of his illness? No thanks!
Reply:You do not give gifts when people pass away. Often times, family will bring over some meals so the grieving does not need to worry about cooking. As for a friend, a simple card expressing your sympathy and prayers is enough.
Reply:I recently lost a close friend, and although gifts were thoughtful and appreciated, the thing that kept me going was the people that offered their support and prayers.
Reply:I don't think it is too over the top, but I think it is a bit odd to give a teddy bear or any gift for sympathy. I think many prefer people to give to a charity...is there something the mom or the family supports?.....How did she die? If it was due to an illness there may be charities that do research in that field and THAT would be the most appropriate charitable donation to make. If there are young children, maybe you could start a college fund for them. What is MOST important during this time and in the near future is to let the family know that you will be there for them and mean it. They may be getting bombarded with visitors and gifts right now, but maybe it would be nice in a couple weeks to bring them a home made meal. Actions go a lot further than any gift, so just pay attention to what your friend needs or wants and be there.
Reply:great idea maybe get a PLANT not flowers as well!
Reply:You could get a donation to a charity in her mother's name. I know when my Grandad died we got certificates of donations given to the Irish Cancer foundation and that meant a lot to my nana.
Reply:I think its the thought that counts here, Another idea would be making a donation in this person's name to a charity. Sorry for your loss.
Reply:that is a lovely thought go for it and bless you for being so thoughtful
Reply:What I would do is purchase a very special "Hallmark" condolence card, together with flowers, a plant, or a real nice box of chocolates. Even a home made cake, your girlfriend can bake.
Hallmark has so many cards, you will really be able to find one that exactly conveys your feelings. As a personal touch I would call your friend and ask her if you, and your girlfriend may come and make a condolence visit. Bring the flowers, and card with you.
When people are in mourning they need other people around to talk their feelings out. She will most probably enjoy talking about the good times, and wonderful memories she has of her mother. However, I would wait for 4 to 5 days before you do it.
Reply:Why a gift. Your support and sympathy for their situation should be more than enough.
A teddy bear? There is something that will end up in a garage sale or stuffed in an attic somewhere. Just be there for them. It says more than anything.
Reply:I'm not so sure about that...what about just offering your support %26amp; letting them know you'll be glad to do anything for them that they may need during this time...such as cooking a meal for them, running any errands, etc. If she keeps mementos they will probably be personal ones that she already has or that her mother owned...a nice card would suffice...since you didn't know her mother I wouldn't get anything too personal
Reply:I think it's a great idea. i have to agree with the boring fruits and flowers. i hope she likes the gift!
Reply:As some have already stated the idea is great but the teddy bear is a little strange and defintily something that will end up in yard sale down the road.
However, if you check someplace such as:
www.collectionsetc.com
You will find some really nice sympathy gifts such as angels with a special message and some garden stones. Personally I would rather have something like that then a teddy bear.
wide children shoes
Am I thinking too deeply about this? Any thoughts?
Is this a good sympathy gift for my friend? Her mother just died?
What matters is the note you write, on a card or letter, and the comfort you offer this person. I think you could even write "You have been like a mother to me" in your note and it would mean a lot. There should be no such thing as a sympathy gift-I agree it is just a reminder.
People gave my husband teddy bears when he had cancer and we were dumbfounded, although we appreciated the thought. Teddy bears for a 40 year old man? Reminders of his illness? No thanks!
Reply:You do not give gifts when people pass away. Often times, family will bring over some meals so the grieving does not need to worry about cooking. As for a friend, a simple card expressing your sympathy and prayers is enough.
Reply:I recently lost a close friend, and although gifts were thoughtful and appreciated, the thing that kept me going was the people that offered their support and prayers.
Reply:I don't think it is too over the top, but I think it is a bit odd to give a teddy bear or any gift for sympathy. I think many prefer people to give to a charity...is there something the mom or the family supports?.....How did she die? If it was due to an illness there may be charities that do research in that field and THAT would be the most appropriate charitable donation to make. If there are young children, maybe you could start a college fund for them. What is MOST important during this time and in the near future is to let the family know that you will be there for them and mean it. They may be getting bombarded with visitors and gifts right now, but maybe it would be nice in a couple weeks to bring them a home made meal. Actions go a lot further than any gift, so just pay attention to what your friend needs or wants and be there.
Reply:great idea maybe get a PLANT not flowers as well!
Reply:You could get a donation to a charity in her mother's name. I know when my Grandad died we got certificates of donations given to the Irish Cancer foundation and that meant a lot to my nana.
Reply:I think its the thought that counts here, Another idea would be making a donation in this person's name to a charity. Sorry for your loss.
Reply:that is a lovely thought go for it and bless you for being so thoughtful
Reply:What I would do is purchase a very special "Hallmark" condolence card, together with flowers, a plant, or a real nice box of chocolates. Even a home made cake, your girlfriend can bake.
Hallmark has so many cards, you will really be able to find one that exactly conveys your feelings. As a personal touch I would call your friend and ask her if you, and your girlfriend may come and make a condolence visit. Bring the flowers, and card with you.
When people are in mourning they need other people around to talk their feelings out. She will most probably enjoy talking about the good times, and wonderful memories she has of her mother. However, I would wait for 4 to 5 days before you do it.
Reply:Why a gift. Your support and sympathy for their situation should be more than enough.
A teddy bear? There is something that will end up in a garage sale or stuffed in an attic somewhere. Just be there for them. It says more than anything.
Reply:I'm not so sure about that...what about just offering your support %26amp; letting them know you'll be glad to do anything for them that they may need during this time...such as cooking a meal for them, running any errands, etc. If she keeps mementos they will probably be personal ones that she already has or that her mother owned...a nice card would suffice...since you didn't know her mother I wouldn't get anything too personal
Reply:I think it's a great idea. i have to agree with the boring fruits and flowers. i hope she likes the gift!
Reply:As some have already stated the idea is great but the teddy bear is a little strange and defintily something that will end up in yard sale down the road.
However, if you check someplace such as:
www.collectionsetc.com
You will find some really nice sympathy gifts such as angels with a special message and some garden stones. Personally I would rather have something like that then a teddy bear.
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