Etiquette on babies at funerals?

My friends mother passed away this past weekend. She was a friend from high school, but since graduating we have kept in touch every few months or so. (we graduated 6 years ago now) I have a 14 week old daughter. The funeral is Thursday during the day and I would really like to pay my respects to my friend as well as her mother. We are not very close but none the less I would like to be there. I however do not have a sitter. What is the proper thing to do? Is it inappropriate to bring the baby along for a bit just to show that I care, or would skipping all together and sending a sympathy card and flowers be more appropriate?

Etiquette on babies at funerals?
in my opinion you should take the baby with you. you can always walk out if the baby gets fussy. your baby is still young so she might just decide to sleep through everything.





having babies at funerals is comforting. i know because i've been there. my dad passed away Feb 2006. a very hard time for me. there were several babies there. i think it was most comforting for my mom, she loves babies and she held the babies that were there (they were close relatives).





losing someone is hard, but seeing babies usually makes people happy and gives them hope. i think they will understand if you have to leave early or walk out because of the baby.





after my dad passed away my sis found out she was pregnant... and then i found out i was pregnant! this defintely helped me to cope because i was going to be a mommy! it helped my mom a ton! she loves her grandbabies to death. babies help the healing process =) she was able to focus on her grandchildren (her first grandchildren by the way) and less on her loss.
Reply:Don't go, send a card and some flowers. If you feel like you must leave baby with a sitting service if you cannot get a sitter you know. Find a reputable one and go with it.
Reply:I recently went to a friend's funeral. I left my kids with a friend, then picked them up and took them to the luncheon afterward. That worked really well. If I was unable to find a sitter, I would have skipped the funeral but attended the visitation beforehand with the children.
Reply:It would probably be best to send the card and flowers. Babies can be very diffucult to deal with under those stressful circumstances.
Reply:hard question. If you can plan a long nap during the funeral, that would be ideal. You really dont want the baby to get fussy during a eulogy (sp?) and take away from the deceased.





If it were me, I would skip everything and make a phone call. I think sympathy cards are very impersonal and hurtful. I got a few when my grandfather passed away and it just seems like "I am sorry your grandfather died, but here's a card to make it better ...." sort of thing. Maybe you could bring a meal to the family. That is always appreciated.
Reply:Skip and send a sympathy card and flowers. A funeral is no place for an infant, if it can be helped. Your friend will understand why you can't be there.
Reply:I would go. Even though you and your friend are not very close now, I think she would appreciate you showing your respects. Bring your baby along but just make sure you sit closer to the back of the church or funeral home so that if your baby starts to get fussy you can slip out unnoticed.
Reply:I would go if you think you can handle it. I needed to go to 2 funerals when my baby was 2 months old and I know it was appreciated that we went. During difficult times, people are actually often happy to see a baby--helps to show that life is a circle and it goes on. Definitely sit at the back for any type of service and be prepared to leave if your baby is fussy. Everyone will understand if you need to leave. Good luck!
Reply:I don't think it would hurt for you to go, because they would understand that you are just paying your respects, but they may also understand if you have to sit this one out.





Good luck!
Reply:I would go. If your daughter gets too noisy then go wait outside the room the service is in. My mother passed away also and it would be nice of you to show consideration and respect for your friend. I was hurt by a lot of people that I was fairly close to that did not even send a card. I felt it was a lack of consideration not really about my feelings, but the loss of a life should be acknowledged.. And a baby is always a welcome site in my eyes. Just be sure to leave if she gets fussy.
Reply:Go to the family/friends visitation and send flowers/card for the funeral.
Reply:I don't think you should bring your baby. (Congratulations!) Too much fuss, might make people believe you are drawing attention to yourself.





Good luck, and great question!
Reply:I would probably skip this one all together because even at young ages children absorb things into their minds that we can't possibly realize.


I would send a card and simple floral arrangement to them and I'm sure they will understand about you not coming and bringing a baby to such a thing. I've never been to a funeral where a baby was present- and unfortunately I've been to plenty of them!
Reply:I took my little one to a funeral when he was little and he slept the whole time. I felt that the I needed to be there. My son is now 18 months and i know that he is too busy of a man to sit still for a funeral so then I would send flowers. It is totally up to you and how you feel. I have seen lots of babies at funerals. Or if you wanted maybe just go to the visitation
Reply:I don't know what etiquette says but personally if you can swing it bringing the baby with you (at 14 weeks she'll probably sleep through it) I would. It's important for me to pay my respects personally. You could call your friend %26amp; ask her if it would be ok with the family. I'm sure she would appreciate the support.





I went to a funeral 10 months ago %26amp; was amazed at how many babies where there! If your daughter starts crying you can always get up %26amp; quietly walk out until she's calm again.
Reply:Babies and children are always welcome at "viewings". Different people have different beliefs on infants and children at the actual funeral service, the best thing to do would be to call and ask.





However, personally, I think it is time people get over themselves. Mothers and babies are not meant to be parted. until at least 6 months. The should be breastfeeding too frequently to allow for it, yes we *can* put breastmilk into a bottle now -but that simply isn't what babies were designed for. If the baby cries during the service of course you will take them out. I think expecting moms and babies to be parted is just ridiculous -NO ONE ever died from hearing a baby cry for a few minutes while mom walked out.
Reply:maybe go with a friend who can alternate with you at the funeral?
Reply:You shouldn't bring your baby to the funeral service itself, but I don't see the problem with bringing her to pay your respects at the family home or wherever. You just wouldn't want your daughter crying or fussing through the eulogy or service.
Reply:If there is visitation, Go to that, and explain that you don't want your daughter to be a distraction at the service itself.